What's *YOUR* Ratio?

Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you make your bed.

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

I’m a parenting book junkie -- and I want to share one of the best of the best with you today. Glenn Latham wrote “Christlike Parenting” with the goal of helping parents use the Savior's life as an example for interacting with our children. Bible stories that I've known for decades have new meaning because of this author’s perspective.
The one element I'll focus on here is the idea that most bad behavior can be ignored, while good behavior needs to be praised profusely. The author’s profession is behavioral therapy, so he put a number to it! He said the ratio of positive interactions to negative needs to be roughly 8-to-1.

For every time I criticize my child, I need to find eight compliments to give.

EIGHT happy, positive statements are necessary to balance the one time I yell, criticize, or chastise.

The author admits that sometimes it's a reach. He suggests having a back-up collection of phrases as simple as, "Good breathing, son!" and "I like how your shoulders are so straight!" for those times when I've been dishing out so much disapproval that it's difficult to switch the gears.

One way I increase my ratio is to rephrase the same positive in several different ways. "Oh, thank you for hugging your sister and saying sorry. That is wonderful and shows so much love! I'm happy that you are full of love. I'm sure you feel that happy feeling, too! Oh, and look how happy your sister is! Isn't that wonderful? We're spreading love and happiness in our home." 

Just striving for a higher ratio has made a huge difference in how I interact with my children. And, honestly, it has changed me into a happier person in general. I am now on the look-out constantly for positive things to point out, and much less likely to bother with the negative. I love to see how my child's eyes shine when I’m giving out sincere compliments!

Mom, try increasing your compliments and praise in this exponential way, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!