The Sword of decision

No children were harmed in the making of this photo.

Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you brush your teeth!

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

I used to get all tense when one of my children would ask if they could spend some time on the computer or watching TV. I suppose I envisioned them singing as they ran up a mountain wearing matching clothes made from curtains.  Alas, they're normal when it comes to desiring the more modern method of relaxing, indoors in front of some sort of technological toy.
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So they would ask, and I felt like I held a heavy two edged Sword of Decision: saying NO would make me the Mean Mom who never lets her children do anything fun… and saying YES would make me the Irresponsible Mom who just asks them not to drool on the keyboard! 

I just wanted to Knight my offspring as “Wise Users of Time,” but I worried I would wield that Sword of Decision so arbitrarily that I’d cut their heads off instead.

Luckily, I was introduced to the Yes=Yes Principle (which can also be referred to as the No=No Principle), where Screen Time is designated as a Privilege earned proportionate to time spent on a Priority, such as homework or chores or athletics or artwork. 

When my child asks for Screen Time, I simply ask about the priority that we’ve tied it to.  If they answer Yes, then I answer Yes! 

Here's a sample situation:
"Hey, Mom, can I play Wizards 101 for 20 minutes?"
"Hi, son, thanks for asking. Have you played Piano for 20 minutes today?"
"Yes..."
"Okay, then, Yes!!"

As my children have developed an understanding of the principle, the conversation sometimes goes like this:
"Hey, Mom, I wanna watch the football game."
"Oh, well, are your chores done?"
"Uhhhh, hold on..."

​(TIME PASSES)

"Hey, Mom, my chores are done!"
"Great! Then enjoy the football game!"

Aaaahhh, it's such a relief to hand the Sword of Decision back to the child! 

Mom, make a list of priorities and privileges that you can link to one another using the Yes=Yes Principle! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!