Is crying-it-out making you cry? Try this instead

Photo Credit: Brytny on Unsplash.com

Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you rock your newborn to sleep!

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

NEWSFLASH: Babies cry. They cry for all sorts of reasons. My job is to try to figure out why they're crying, and then do what I can to resolve the problem or at least offer a little comfort. They might still cry, even when I'm doin' my darndest to make it stop. Sometimes, I notice that I'm singing to them not because it calms them, but because it calms me! (It only just now occurred to me that possibly my singing makes them cry worse). Amidst the various and sundry cry-fests daily, I don’t see a need to purposely add more crying nightly!

Our American culture is so steeped in the cry-it-out method for bedtime that precious little info is out there for moms who want to do it differently.

I recommend a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. The author recognizes that some of us just don't want sleep-time to be cry-time. She has experience both co-sleeping (which I enjoy), and crib-sleeping. The trick she teaches is the importance of a routine, good options to include in a sleep routine, and how to successfully establish a routine so that bedtime is better all around. 

So, baby and I follow a solid routine both for naps and nighttime. I have it posted in our bedroom to help myself remember the steps *in order* -- because babies are so tuned in to structure. Repetitively doing the routine wires baby’s brain so that each element serves as a sleep-signal. As we go through each step, baby winds down and gets sleepier and sleepier eventually drifting peacefully off... to... sleeeee... honk,shoooo…

Moms, institute a bedtime routine with your little ones -- it’s never too late! -- then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

Here's our routine in detail, plus a few extra notes from the book!

Change diaper (smile calmly and tell her it's sleep time)
close door & turn off light
turn on white-noise
wrap in blankie; offer lovey-doll (keep smiling calmly so she has positive feelings about sleep)
dance together while singing until she's very drowsy
shhhh in her ear while I put her down
keep shushing as I leave the room 

If she wakes up and fusses for more than ten seconds or so, go back in and do the routine again (starting at the blankie/lovey part).

Chart how it goes over the course of ten days, and you'll see a difference as both you and baby get accustomed to the routine. Keep up the ten-day increments to keep seeing progress. Keep in mind that baby's body has to adjust to lots of changes as she grows, such as teething, learning new skills from grasping with hands to walking, and these can disrupt sleep patterns. The routine will rescue you and create a calm, bonding bedtime ritual each time.