 Photo Credit: Christopher Johnson on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you wipe the counters! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
As my 12-year old son paced around the kitchen shaking his hands, he explained his frenetic movements by declaring: “I just drank half an energy drink!” Our family tries to avoid caffeine in general, but rather than scold or be judgemental, I kept the conversation going by showing a little curiosity: "I've heard they don't taste very good -- what did you think?" "I thought it tasted good, but so did Josie and she drank the rest of it." I continued drawing out more info, using an even tone of voice. Not wanting to cause alarm and have him feel defensive... "Hmmm. How many hours ago was this? Have you experienced a crash yet?" "Um, I don't think so. See how I'm all jittery? I think it's still affecting me, making me want to keep moving. Crash would mean I'd go to sleep, right?" "Well, son, honestly, I don't know cuz I’ve never tried one. I've just seen advertising claiming one product is better because of a lesser-crash-factor." "Oh, yeah, I've seen those commercials too." I could see something in his eyes start processing his own body and how being "under the influence" was affecting him. Self-awareness is so important in situations like this -- where he can draw his own conclusions guided by light mom-pressure. "I think that's why energy drinks are considered addictive,” I kept talking nonchalantly while wiping down the countertops. “The drinker enjoys the high so much they don't want to experience the coming down, so they keep on drinking the product!" I wanted to enable him to think things through, while slipping in some kindly insights from his ever-lovin' Mama. I hope that my love, shown through calm conversation, will inspire my child to want the best for himself. If he still chooses to take on the caffeine dependence, my love will empower him when he’s ready to face the struggle of breaking free from it. I won’t be saying, “I told you so” -- I’ll be saying “I know you can do it!” Mom, try having a low-key conversation about a concern you have with your child -- in your head, first, so you can visualize a calm connection, realizing that consistent, calm, repetitive conversations likely have a longer-term, more positive impact than heated, rare discussions. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!
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 Photo Credit: Brytny on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you rock your newborn to sleep! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
NEWSFLASH: Babies cry. They cry for all sorts of reasons. My job is to try to figure out why they're crying, and then do what I can to resolve the problem or at least offer a little comfort. They might still cry, even when I'm doin' my darndest to make it stop. Sometimes, I notice that I'm singing to them not because it calms them, but because it calms me! (It only just now occurred to me that possibly my singing makes them cry worse). Amidst the various and sundry cry-fests daily, I don’t see a need to purposely add more crying nightly! Our American culture is so steeped in the cry-it-out method for bedtime that precious little info is out there for moms who want to do it differently. I recommend a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. The author recognizes that some of us just don't want sleep-time to be cry-time. She has experience both co-sleeping (which I enjoy), and crib-sleeping. The trick she teaches is the importance of a routine, good options to include in a sleep routine, and how to successfully establish a routine so that bedtime is better all around. So, baby and I follow a solid routine both for naps and nighttime. I have it posted in our bedroom to help myself remember the steps *in order* -- because babies are so tuned in to structure. Repetitively doing the routine wires baby’s brain so that each element serves as a sleep-signal. As we go through each step, baby winds down and gets sleepier and sleepier eventually drifting peacefully off... to... sleeeee... honk,shoooo… Moms, institute a bedtime routine with your little ones -- it’s never too late! -- then share if this practice elevates your mothering! Here's our routine in detail, plus a few extra notes from the book! Change diaper (smile calmly and tell her it's sleep time) close door & turn off light turn on white-noise wrap in blankie; offer lovey-doll (keep smiling calmly so she has positive feelings about sleep) dance together while singing until she's very drowsy shhhh in her ear while I put her down keep shushing as I leave the room If she wakes up and fusses for more than ten seconds or so, go back in and do the routine again (starting at the blankie/lovey part). Chart how it goes over the course of ten days, and you'll see a difference as both you and baby get accustomed to the routine. Keep up the ten-day increments to keep seeing progress. Keep in mind that baby's body has to adjust to lots of changes as she grows, such as teething, learning new skills from grasping with hands to walking, and these can disrupt sleep patterns. The routine will rescue you and create a calm, bonding bedtime ritual each time.  Photo by Tamar Waskey on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you take a bubble bath while your husband does bedtime with the kids! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Aahhhh, bedtime! We all look forward to it, don't we? At least, we look forward to the time when those energetic little ones finally rest, so we can too. Luckily, I've been blessed to get to look forward to the actual getting-ready-for-bed rigamarole also! For some reason, it isn't a huge struggle in our family... in fact, it's a lovely bonding time! I guess I'm making it sound like the "some reason" is unbeknownst to me and we've just had this beautiful fate befall us out of nowhere. To tell the truth, though, I do know the reason. It's called: Daddy! Let me tell you about the conversation I had with an attractive member of the male species back in college days. He mentioned that he planned to take the advice of one of his professors who suggested a secret to success in marriage and parenthood: Daddy does bedtime. I decided to marry said male right then and there! Mommy is so worn out from making decisions and refereeing and cleaning up messes and her patience has worn thin and she just wants to go to bed herself, not try to convince and connive and coerce. Daddy, on the other hand, hasn't yet gotten to spend quality time with his offspring and he brings a different kind of energy to the experience. The kids are excited to get to spend time with him, even if it means they end up asleep -- at least they're dreaming sweet dreams. We post a bedtime list so the kids can keep Daddy focused, from baths and jammies to teeth brushing and saying prayers and reading books, the kids usually cooperate but if they don’t, Daddy gets to deal with the discipline instead of Mom having to again (an important dynamic to include him in that part of parenting.) All-in-all, from the time Daddy sends them off to put on pajamas to when their eyelids are finally closed for the night, it's a good hour of his time, but he doesn't seem to mind at all. It’s an hour of connecting, redirecting, bonding and blessing these precious children of his, and the effects last more than an hour and expand to more than just good sleep. And Mommy has been relaxing (aka recovering) in the other room... So when Dad comes to do bedtime with her, they can reconnect successfully in their own special way! Moms, try giving the bedtime responsibility to Daddy, helping him see the potential fatherly benefits of such an arrangement, then share if this practice elevates your mothering! |
