 Photo Credit: Kevin Gent on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you help your child put their shoes on! Hi, I’m Regan from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
My three-year-old's favorite PBS show is called Dinosaur Train. Yesterday I walked in as the show was ending and Dr. Scott the Paleontologist announced that it was now time to turn off the TV, go outside, and "make your own discoveries!" I borrowed a little of Dr. Scott's enthusiasm and repeated the same invitation as I flicked the off button. I braced for the usual protest -- "Just one more show!!!" but instead, my little guy looked at me with excitement in his eyes and said, "Yeah! Let's go make our own discoveries!" Then as an afterthought, he asked, "Mom, what's a discovery?" "Oh, child," I said with awe in my voice as I grabbed his pudgy little hands, as we walked to the back door. "Discovery is looking around with eyes wide open. You see things you’ve already seen AND you notice brand new things. Then... Then..." I paused to build his anticipation. We sat down to put on his shoes. "Then..." "You think and you wonder and you ask questions and you want to know and learn and -- " (using my best mysterious voice, I continued) -- " you solve mysteries and expose secrets!" His verbal response: “Awesome” was accompanied by a non-verbal response that was even better. He took hold of his one-year old sister's pudgy little hand, led her out the door, and with gentle joy, showed her a lady bug. Mom, try exemplifying enthusiasm to spark the curiosity about real life as you limit screen time today, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!
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 Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you paint rocks for fun! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. Are you familiar with Chris Van Allsburg, the author of children’s books? He’s probably most famous for The Polar Express since a movie was made from it -- and the truth holds: the book is better!! But the one I’d like to highlight today is called The Wretched Stone. It’s written as a ship captain’s log and it details the discovery of a large shining stone which captivates his sailors and turns them into monkeys! I believe Chris Van Allsburg was making some social commentary with this story! Our screens are like this wretched stone, stealing the childhood from our children in various ways: they don’t get as much fresh air, have fewer opportunities to build their work ethic or people skills, and regardless of the content being viewed, just the amount of time is linked to anxiety, depression, and can exacerbate autism, so there’s an unidentified force coming through the screen as well. In the past, "Screen Time" as our family calls it -- was a privilege the child had to earn. However, I struggled with this system because I felt like I was rewarding them with something that has little-to-no value, but by calling it a reward, I was inadvertently sending the message that it is valuable. So now our family is trying out a different system. We have assigned the hour before dinner to be the only time they are allowed to use the various wretched stones. Oh, they still have to have their homework done and be done with their chores, so, in that sense, we're teaching them prioritization. However, we no longer consider Screen Time a privilege -- we call it Techno-Mush-Brain Hour, a carefully chosen name that includes a warning to our children, hopefully discouraging overuse. So far, I think it's working pretty well. It helps them hurry to finish their homework and chores so they don’t drag those out all evening. It also means that the rest of the evening after dinner, they just find something else to do -- and it's a beautiful thing to see how they get creative with their free time -- like writing and performing plays, singing karaoke, doing yoga, drawing, and playing games with their siblings. Moms, how can you teach your family the disadvantages of screen time as you make an effort to decrease it? Share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you wipe fingerprints off the TV. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I get it! I get it, fellow mamas -- I TOTALLY understand why TV is placed on a pedestal in our society. For one thing,
Well, the nonprofit Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood has researched why it’s crucial to curb our children’s screen use. They sponsor Screen Free Week, providing tons of resources to help us succeed in this practically impossible endeavor. Additionally, they help us as parents teach tech-responsibility to our children because the reality is that being screen-free is a luxury not many of us can afford, oddly enough. So we need to be putting the necessary effort into teaching screen self-control starting as soon as the baby pretends her banana is a phone. It absolutely definitely one hundred percent totally completely and drastically affects the atmosphere in our home when our “master-and-slave” relationship with screens has “we, the people” as the masters, not the slaves. Mom, try going screen free for a day or two each week, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  No children were harmed in the making of this photo. Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you brush your teeth! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. I used to get all tense when one of my children would ask if they could spend some time on the computer or watching TV. I suppose I envisioned them singing as they ran up a mountain wearing matching clothes made from curtains. Alas, they're normal when it comes to desiring the more modern method of relaxing, indoors in front of some sort of technological toy. So they would ask, and I felt like I held a heavy two edged Sword of Decision: saying NO would make me the Mean Mom who never lets her children do anything fun… and saying YES would make me the Irresponsible Mom who just asks them not to drool on the keyboard! I just wanted to Knight my offspring as “Wise Users of Time,” but I worried I would wield that Sword of Decision so arbitrarily that I’d cut their heads off instead. Luckily, I was introduced to the Yes=Yes Principle (which can also be referred to as the No=No Principle), where Screen Time is designated as a Privilege earned proportionate to time spent on a Priority, such as homework or chores or athletics or artwork. When my child asks for Screen Time, I simply ask about the priority that we’ve tied it to. If they answer Yes, then I answer Yes! Here's a sample situation: "Hey, Mom, can I play Wizards 101 for 20 minutes?" "Hi, son, thanks for asking. Have you played Piano for 20 minutes today?" "Yes..." "Okay, then, Yes!!" As my children have developed an understanding of the principle, the conversation sometimes goes like this: "Hey, Mom, I wanna watch the football game." "Oh, well, are your chores done?" "Uhhhh, hold on..." (TIME PASSES) "Hey, Mom, my chores are done!" "Great! Then enjoy the football game!" Aaaahhh, it's such a relief to hand the Sword of Decision back to the child! Mom, make a list of priorities and privileges that you can link to one another using the Yes=Yes Principle! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering! |
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