 Photo Credit: Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you eat chocolate! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I was asked to speak in church on Mother's Day a few years ago. I'd heard so many women say that they avoid church on Mother's Day because they can't stand the guilt as the speakers dish about their perfect moms. Since my mom really is perfect, and talking about her would definitely make other mothers feel guilty, I spoke about Mary, the mother of Jesus, instead. No, that didn’t help the guilt, but it let me illustrate how each of our children is also one of God's children and even though we’re merely - and severely - mortal, He still allowed us to mother them. The key to accepting our imperfect selves is knowing, while incredibly sweet and adorable, our children aren't perfect either. They need to see how we handle missteps so they can handle their own! (Mary, the mother of Jesus, couldn't have that line of reasoning, since her son was, indeed, perfect. Oh well.) Instead of wallowing in guilt, I choose to wallow in gratitude -- and I mean really roll around and get myself covered in it!!! I am so very thankful to BE a mom, even though it humbles me every minute of every day. Gratitude goes to God for giving me eight children to teach and learn from and practice forgiveness with (both asking and giving). Gratitude goes to my mom for setting a beautiful example of dedicated motherhood. Gratitude to my husband for supporting me in so many ways, and loving me, even though I yell at his quiver full of kids every once in a while. And Gratitude goes to my children for loving me in spite of me. Mom, when feelings of guilt get you down, let gratitude lift you back up! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!
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 Photo Credit: Andrew George on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you clean out the car. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Here's a throwback to high school physics: remember the Law of Conservation of Matter? Here's a little reminder with an illustration Imagine a glass of milk and chocolate syrup. Mix those together: something has definitely changed, but the amount of total liquid is still the same as before. Even if you drink the milk and the cup appears to be empty, the liquid still exists -- it wasn’t destroyed -- it just changed places. Nothing was created, nothing was destroyed. Amount-wise, it all stayed the same regardless of the color change or change of place. Well, unfortunately, I tend to notice a Law of Conservation of Goodness in my life as a mother. I have several areas of my life in which I strive for improvement: getting the laundry done! being patient and calm with my children! exposing my children to good music! including the Lord in my day-to-day life! making nourishing meals! Managing my time so I get some one-on-one time with each of my kids as well as with girlfriends and my ever-lovin' husband! cleaning out the car! and the list goes on and on and on and on. So I set goals. And I work towards improvement. But it seems like when I get good at one thing, I get worse at another thing. Dangit! That's what I mean about the Law of Conservation of Goodness -- that it appears I can neither create nor destroy the total amount of goodness in my life. It seems stuck at a constant and just changes form, changes color, changes places, changes which goal it applies to. However, in all honesty, I've determined that this is a FALSE law. Oh, it might apply to energy and matter in physics. But as I am getting old enough now to have a little hindsight, I can see a little success in my attempts to get better, even though it looked like it was balanced out by regression in a neglected area. I am definitely better off than if I hadn't ever made the attempts. Journaling has allowed me to gain this more accurate perspective, and I recommend this practice to you! Mom, genuinely give yourself credit for how you’ve gradually improved over the years, and pat yourself on the back, resolving not to get discouraged as the path of progression stretches out to the horizon. Use a journal to record your thoughts. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering! 
Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you climb a tree.
Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
They say that it takes 21 days to build a good habit. I have a few decades’ worth of goal-setting experience that proves that to be about right... My experience also says that it takes less than one day to fall out of that hard-earned habit... Just like climbing a tree: On the way up, I must carefully choose which limb to grasp, then use my muscles to pull myself. It can be a time-consuming, arduous process -- but falling down from the tree can happen pretty much instantaneously with no effort at all on my part. AAAACCCKKKK!!!! Thank you, gravity. And so the metaphor continues: there’s gravity in that more ethereal sense of our efforts to progress and improve in life. Forces that pull us down or times when we lose sight of the goal and loosen our grips, losing our footholds and then falling. But let’s not allow gravity to win. Defeat must be seen as temporary. There’s a great song called Tubthumping that helps me stand back up and start climbing that tree again. Here’s a fun rendition sung by an acapella group that got voted off an entertainment competition show called The Sing Off. Let’s train our brains so that when we fall, we respond by giving ourselves pep-talks (or pep songs, as the case may be!)! Can you feel these pats on the back, Mom?! No purpose is served in wallowing in the mud or being mad at ourselves. Momivate is a play on the word motivate, and we must do it for ourselves as well as for our children. How many times we fall down isn’t important as long as we stand back up Mom, decide just one area where you’ve fallen, and make the effort to stand back up and dust yourself off today. You’ve got this! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Lidya Nada on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you put dishes into the dishwasher. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Have you ever been in a situation where complaining or whining might be justified, but for some reason you chose to take a deep breath and stay calm. It’s not easy, but it’s rewards are immediate! The challenge to accept responsibility for one's own reaction is one of those self-discipline muscles that we need to build -- and life gives us plenty of opportunities. When we can't control anything else about our circumstances, we can at least keep control of ourselves, our emotions, our attitude. Charles Swindoll, founder of the radio program Insights for Living, got it right when he said: "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important ... than education, than money, ... than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. ... It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. ... We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes." I want to empower my children by teaching them this concept, and I work (it is definitely WORK) to set an example of it, and together we’re discovering all the ways we can improve our personal reality simply by smiling, or letting things go, or looking for solutions, what we CAN do, rather than dwelling on the CAN'Ts. We aren’t perfect, -- and yet we try to maintain a good attitude about our imperfections! Mama, examine your attitude and how you might upgrade it in just one way today, and see what a difference it makes. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you fold yet another load of laundry. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I’m a little jealous of my children -- the fact that they get to spend the majority of their time learning. I wish LEARNING was on my to-do list -- I genuinely enjoy discovering facts and building skills. Oddly, children seem to have a built-in aversion to didactic learning. Oh, they'll learn all day long if you don't TELL them that they're learning. If they're the ones asking the questions, their brainy appetite is insatiable. But once it's an assignment, once someone else wants them to go learn such-and-so, for whatever reason, that makes it an oppressive chore. The fact is, though, that learning is an element of childhood in the way oxygen is an element of water. I think their struggle comes from their innate desire to be in control of what they're learning. The tricky part is that learning HOW to learn is a subject in and of itself -- arguably far more valuable, than memorizing lists of facts. Of course, our gray matter is programmed to learn from day one -- no one has to teach a baby to learn how to walk. The baby is just wired to eventually get up off its knees, practice balancing, and one day, almost without thinking, those first steps are taken. When you aren't a baby any longer, though, that automated learning mode gets complicated with too many (or too few) options, countless distractions, and that awful human-nature state of laziness... And so the motivational games begin... to encourage learning, embellish it, give incentives for it, exemplify it, all with the hope that they'll embrace learning and love it for life! Mom, in what ways can you give your children a love of learning? Do you verbalize how grateful you are for a good education? Do you take advantage of opportunities to learn even when you aren’t required to? Create a family culture that includes efforts to satiate curiosity! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering! |
