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How would you define "discovery?"

7/7/2021

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Photo Credit: Kevin Gent on Unsplash.com
Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you help your child put their shoes on!
Hi, I’m Regan from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

My three-year-old's favorite PBS show is called Dinosaur Train. Yesterday I walked in as the show was ending and Dr. Scott the Paleontologist announced that it was now time to turn off the TV, go outside, and "make your own discoveries!"

I borrowed a little of Dr. Scott's enthusiasm and repeated the same invitation as I flicked the off button. I braced for the usual protest -- "Just one more show!!!" but instead, my little guy looked at me with excitement in his eyes and said, "Yeah! Let's go make our own discoveries!" 

Then as an afterthought, he asked, "Mom, what's a discovery?"

"Oh, child," I said with awe in my voice as I grabbed his pudgy little hands, as we walked to the back door. "Discovery is looking around with eyes wide open. You see things you’ve already seen AND you notice brand new things. Then... Then..."

I paused to build his anticipation. We sat down to put on his shoes. "Then..."

"You think and you wonder and you ask questions and you want to know and learn and -- " (using my best mysterious voice, I continued) -- " you solve mysteries and expose secrets!"

His verbal response: “Awesome” was accompanied by a non-verbal response that was even better.

He took hold of his one-year old sister's pudgy little hand, led her out the door, and with gentle joy, showed her a lady bug.

Mom, try exemplifying enthusiasm to spark the curiosity about real life as you limit screen time today, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

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Are Screens our friends or our foes?

11/21/2020

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Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you paint rocks for fun!

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

Are you familiar with Chris Van Allsburg, the author of children’s books? He’s probably most famous for The Polar Express since a movie was made from it -- and the truth holds: the book is better!! But the one I’d like to highlight today is called The Wretched Stone. It’s written as a ship captain’s log and it details the discovery of a large shining stone which captivates his sailors and turns them into monkeys! I believe Chris Van Allsburg was making some social commentary with this story!

Our screens are like this wretched stone, stealing the childhood from our children in various ways: they don’t get as much fresh air, have fewer opportunities to build their work ethic or people skills, and regardless of the content being viewed, just the amount of time is linked to anxiety, depression, and can exacerbate autism, so there’s an unidentified force coming through the screen as well. 

In the past, "Screen Time" as our family calls it -- was a privilege the child had to earn. However, I struggled with this system because I felt like I was rewarding them with something that has little-to-no value, but by calling it a reward, I was inadvertently sending the message that it is valuable.

So now our family is trying out a different system. We have assigned the hour before dinner to be the only time they are allowed to use the various wretched stones. Oh, they still have to have their homework done and be done with their chores, so, in that sense, we're teaching them prioritization. However, we no longer consider Screen Time a privilege -- we call it Techno-Mush-Brain Hour, a carefully chosen name that includes a warning to our children, hopefully discouraging overuse.

So far, I think it's working pretty well. It helps them hurry to finish their homework and chores so they don’t drag those out all evening. It also means that the rest of the evening after dinner, they just find something else to do -- and it's a beautiful thing to see how they get creative with their free time -- like writing and performing plays, singing karaoke, doing yoga, drawing, and playing games with their siblings.

Moms, how can you teach your family the disadvantages of screen time as you make an effort to decrease it? Share if this practice elevates your mothering!
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Who's the master and who's the slave?

11/11/2020

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Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you wipe fingerprints off the TV.
Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

I get it! I get it, fellow mamas -- I TOTALLY understand why TV is placed on a pedestal in our society. For one thing,
  • It's basically a free babysitter, available at our beck and call 
  • And it’s so nice that while my children are busy watching TV, they don't make very big messes (although this also means they aren't learning how to clean up messes...) 
  • Another positive is that they tend to get so absorbed in the TV program that they don't fight with each other! However, this form of hypnotized peace results in fewer opportunities to learn negotiation, compromise, forgiveness, and other positive relationship skills that come with conflict. Besides, when they're done watching, it feels like they fight MORE than if they hadn't watched it at all... as though the supposedly benign show has still had a negative effect.
  • Finally, PBS and similar educational programming make us feel good about letting them watch -- "It's like Preschool at Home" is one of the ditties I've heard the network claim... BUT preschool is interactive, multi-sensory, creative, and attendees can practice playing and getting along with peers… so I’m not convinced.
Why would I ever feel inclined to give up the free babysitter, free preschool, and fight-and-mess-preventer? 

Well, the nonprofit Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood has researched why it’s crucial to curb our children’s screen use. They sponsor Screen Free Week, providing tons of resources to help us succeed in this practically impossible endeavor. 

Additionally, they help us as parents teach tech-responsibility to our children because the reality is that being screen-free is a luxury not many of us can afford, oddly enough. So we need to be putting the necessary effort into teaching screen self-control starting as soon as the baby pretends her banana is a phone. 
​
It absolutely definitely one hundred percent totally completely and drastically affects the atmosphere in our home when our “master-and-slave” relationship with screens has “we, the people” as the masters, not the slaves.

Mom, try going screen free for a day or two each week, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!

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Does a smart phone have to doom kids to dumbness?

11/3/2020

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Photo Credit: Matteo Vistocco on Unsplash.com
Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you scrub the kitchen sink!

Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.

Is it a coincidence that mobile phones are also called CELL phones, like a JAIL CELL?! If you worry that your children are doomed to be prisoners locked in a phone-sized dungeon of potentially damaging perplexities, consider a cell phone contract. 

I first heard this concept back in 2009. JoAnn Hamilton, while reporting about the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, presented a Cell Phone Safe Use Agreement. The words “Safe” and “Protection” inspired me to clip that newspaper article and, when a child of mine reaches the age of 14 and shows a certain degree of responsibility, they are allowed to purchase a cell phone and pay the monthly service fee AFTER they sign this agreement:

1: My communication will be true, helpful, and kind, NEVER rude or bullying. I will never use vulgar or sexual language, and will block anyone who uses such language with me.

2: I recognize that there is no such thing as privacy with regards to the internet. Whether I intend it or not, any of my texts, images, or posts can end up anywhere in the world, whether I know it or not.

3: I acknowledge that people can use the internet to be deceptive about themselves and their intentions. It is fully impossible to know whether the people I'm communicating with are or aren't who they say they are. For my safety,  I will not share any personal information, including my date of birth, address, or specifics about places I frequent such as school, church or work.

4: My parents will have full access to my phone at any time, knowing all my passwords. They can read texts and see my social networking posts. I will respect their input and feedback about what I post. My parents will set up hours and places of use/non-use, such as not using it in a bedroom or bathroom, during school, etc. I will accept whatever consequences I earn, and will work to earn and keep the trust that my parents need to have in me.

Mama, if you’ve been harboring a prisoner of a cell phone, set them free through this contract! Print it out, read and discuss it together, sign it and post it where you can both refer to it often! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!
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    two minute mom tips!

    Because sometimes our attention span has to match our children's. Audio and transcript included!

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