 Photo Credit: Christopher Johnson on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you wipe the counters! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
As my 12-year old son paced around the kitchen shaking his hands, he explained his frenetic movements by declaring: “I just drank half an energy drink!” Our family tries to avoid caffeine in general, but rather than scold or be judgemental, I kept the conversation going by showing a little curiosity: "I've heard they don't taste very good -- what did you think?" "I thought it tasted good, but so did Josie and she drank the rest of it." I continued drawing out more info, using an even tone of voice. Not wanting to cause alarm and have him feel defensive... "Hmmm. How many hours ago was this? Have you experienced a crash yet?" "Um, I don't think so. See how I'm all jittery? I think it's still affecting me, making me want to keep moving. Crash would mean I'd go to sleep, right?" "Well, son, honestly, I don't know cuz I’ve never tried one. I've just seen advertising claiming one product is better because of a lesser-crash-factor." "Oh, yeah, I've seen those commercials too." I could see something in his eyes start processing his own body and how being "under the influence" was affecting him. Self-awareness is so important in situations like this -- where he can draw his own conclusions guided by light mom-pressure. "I think that's why energy drinks are considered addictive,” I kept talking nonchalantly while wiping down the countertops. “The drinker enjoys the high so much they don't want to experience the coming down, so they keep on drinking the product!" I wanted to enable him to think things through, while slipping in some kindly insights from his ever-lovin' Mama. I hope that my love, shown through calm conversation, will inspire my child to want the best for himself. If he still chooses to take on the caffeine dependence, my love will empower him when he’s ready to face the struggle of breaking free from it. I won’t be saying, “I told you so” -- I’ll be saying “I know you can do it!” Mom, try having a low-key conversation about a concern you have with your child -- in your head, first, so you can visualize a calm connection, realizing that consistent, calm, repetitive conversations likely have a longer-term, more positive impact than heated, rare discussions. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!
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 Photo Credit: Tim Wildsmith on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you scrub the toilet! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
There’s a phrase that I like to hear as often as possible from my children... "Okay, Mommy." I love to hear it because it means my child has agreed to whatever torture or punishment I have inflicted upon them… brushing teeth for instance or having to read a book before getting screen time. These are things that I consistently request from my children, and I love it when they decide that it’s okay. But I also hear myself saying "Okay" often.... which may be where my kids have picked up on it. I'm glad I've set a good example in that sense. However, I'm not sure I always use the word “Okay” in the right context… for example: "We're going to get your pajammies on now, okay?" "Let's go brush your teeth, okay?" "You need to read a book BEFORE watching a movie, okay?" What does my "Okay" in these circumstances get across to my children? Is there really a choice in the matter? What if they’re inclined to say, "No, Mom, that's NOT Okay," would I rescind the request? Change my plans to fit my child’s lack of willingness to obey? I've determined that I need to pay close attention to my use of the word "Okay" -- and stop tacking it on the end of the instructions I’m giving. If my "Okay" means "Do you understand?" then I need to replace it with, "Do you understand?" I've been working on dropping the Okay from my instruction sentences for awhile now, and it’s a tough habit to change. I just repeat to myself: "Stop saying Okay all the time, Okay?!" Mama, what verbal messages are you sending that you might not really want to be sending? Brainstorm some alternatives and start conscientiously enhancing your communication! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering! |
