 Photo Credit: Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you eat chocolate! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I was asked to speak in church on Mother's Day a few years ago. I'd heard so many women say that they avoid church on Mother's Day because they can't stand the guilt as the speakers dish about their perfect moms. Since my mom really is perfect, and talking about her would definitely make other mothers feel guilty, I spoke about Mary, the mother of Jesus, instead. No, that didn’t help the guilt, but it let me illustrate how each of our children is also one of God's children and even though we’re merely - and severely - mortal, He still allowed us to mother them. The key to accepting our imperfect selves is knowing, while incredibly sweet and adorable, our children aren't perfect either. They need to see how we handle missteps so they can handle their own! (Mary, the mother of Jesus, couldn't have that line of reasoning, since her son was, indeed, perfect. Oh well.) Instead of wallowing in guilt, I choose to wallow in gratitude -- and I mean really roll around and get myself covered in it!!! I am so very thankful to BE a mom, even though it humbles me every minute of every day. Gratitude goes to God for giving me eight children to teach and learn from and practice forgiveness with (both asking and giving). Gratitude goes to my mom for setting a beautiful example of dedicated motherhood. Gratitude to my husband for supporting me in so many ways, and loving me, even though I yell at his quiver full of kids every once in a while. And Gratitude goes to my children for loving me in spite of me. Mom, when feelings of guilt get you down, let gratitude lift you back up! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!
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 Photo Credit: Viktor Nikolaienko on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you fill up the dog's food and water. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I took a child psychology class in college. My professor was strongly opinionated, biased towards his own published research which claimed that the only effective form of discipline is a system of rewards and punishments, that our children are basically like Pavlov’s dogs. Well, now that I'm a mom, I hereby declare this professor's viewpoints as over-simplified and incomplete. Instead, I feel that the concepts of Positive Discipline are much more thorough in covering a broader scope of our children’s emotions. That's not to say I never use rewards or punishments. I use them a lot -- specifically the rewards! And that’s where the two theories coincide, which is a good clue as to the validity of that concept. Over the years of integrating “rewards” into real-life motherhood, I’ve come to realize that high-fives are about all the reward a child really ever needs. Oh, and otter-pops for going pee all by themselves. Tee hee! Really, though, rather than invest in cavity-causing candy, or in a supply of little toys that later become stifling clutter, I just offer that awesome kid with the good behavior a high-five. And he's happy, and I'm happy! And I'm not ashamed to mention another compelling fact: slippin' skin is free. Palm patting is universally accepted as very valuable -- even though it costs nothing. And because it’s free, I can give it freely. As Positive Discipline teaches us: the more, the better. Other similar rewards include a cheer! a hug! a thumbs-up! a pat on the back! the "A-OK" sign! capturing the moment on the camera! offering to call Daddy or Grandma to report the success! The KIND of positive interaction isn’t nearly as important as how OFTEN it’s offered. The genuine joy my child sees on my face as we celebrate their victory is infectious -- one of the few infections we want to spread. Moms, try increasing these simple rewards in the lives of your children, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Mick Haupt on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you dust the living room! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I’m starting out with a Confession: I haven’t always liked the holiday season -- my husband is adorable -- he has a childlike fascination with the festivities of winter and it is a sweet blessing to watch his whole-hearted devotion to all things Christmas. I have to keep working to overcome dregs of childhood memories when my mom was too stressed out by anything money related because she was single. Part of the problem, I confess, is that we end up with too much stuff -- and I really don't like clutter... Especially paying money to get more clutter! It's my own fault! I want to make our children's dreams come true! So I buy them the plastic toys and anxiously await the momentary glitter in their eyes when they tear open the wrapping paper! Then they give Santa all the credit... I'm not bitter, though! Ahem, So, my point is that over the years I have learned to give memories rather than stuff! For example, one year, I gave my daughters the gift of attending a mother/daughter retreat at a mansion at Bear Lake! It was slightly more expensive than what we normally budget for Christmas gifts, but they've never outgrown the fun we had, I've never had to pick it up off the floor or give it to goodwill or throw it away because it got broken! Oh, and Santa didn't get the credit for it!! Moms, as the Christmas season approaches, brainstorm: What memories can you give as gifts? How about going to a concert together? Getting season tickets to your favorite sports team? Signing up for a class together, maybe kickboxing at the gym or a second language at the local community college... A camping trip or a cruise? The key word is “together” and that’s how memories are made. Please share if this practice elevates your mothering! |
