 Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you paint rocks for fun! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. Are you familiar with Chris Van Allsburg, the author of children’s books? He’s probably most famous for The Polar Express since a movie was made from it -- and the truth holds: the book is better!! But the one I’d like to highlight today is called The Wretched Stone. It’s written as a ship captain’s log and it details the discovery of a large shining stone which captivates his sailors and turns them into monkeys! I believe Chris Van Allsburg was making some social commentary with this story! Our screens are like this wretched stone, stealing the childhood from our children in various ways: they don’t get as much fresh air, have fewer opportunities to build their work ethic or people skills, and regardless of the content being viewed, just the amount of time is linked to anxiety, depression, and can exacerbate autism, so there’s an unidentified force coming through the screen as well. In the past, "Screen Time" as our family calls it -- was a privilege the child had to earn. However, I struggled with this system because I felt like I was rewarding them with something that has little-to-no value, but by calling it a reward, I was inadvertently sending the message that it is valuable. So now our family is trying out a different system. We have assigned the hour before dinner to be the only time they are allowed to use the various wretched stones. Oh, they still have to have their homework done and be done with their chores, so, in that sense, we're teaching them prioritization. However, we no longer consider Screen Time a privilege -- we call it Techno-Mush-Brain Hour, a carefully chosen name that includes a warning to our children, hopefully discouraging overuse. So far, I think it's working pretty well. It helps them hurry to finish their homework and chores so they don’t drag those out all evening. It also means that the rest of the evening after dinner, they just find something else to do -- and it's a beautiful thing to see how they get creative with their free time -- like writing and performing plays, singing karaoke, doing yoga, drawing, and playing games with their siblings. Moms, how can you teach your family the disadvantages of screen time as you make an effort to decrease it? Share if this practice elevates your mothering!
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 Photo Credit: Timon Studler on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you stir the simmering stove top supper! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Our families are like TEAMS, and in general, teams have a goal: to WIN! But we're not competing against other families so what does this mean, to win as a family? Our family decided it means to LOVE GOD and LOVE ONE ANOTHER, no matter what, and to make sure each family member feels that love based on how we interact with each other. Now, this plan for victory requires a LOT of PRACTICE -- like, DAILY -- just like sports teams practice daily! So, this indicates that we need to spend TIME with our family on a DAILY basis -- not just living in the same house watching the same TV, but actually interacting! Conversing! Playing! Eating Meals together… Supporting one another in various endeavors! ... and praying and laughing and crying and hugging and high-fiving and working and hobby-ing together... We also determined that some areas of behavior are like games of varying importance. Yeah, yeah, we want to win them all, but even the best coaches choose to let a team play less-than-their best sometimes so they can use their energy more wisely in higher-stakes games. Can we stand to "lose" a little in low-stakes games like scrimmages? Yes... but when it comes to things like loyalty, selflessness, and forgiveness -- these are like the Play-offs! The World Series! The Super Bowl! -- so we need to be playing with all our energy, effort, and fortitude. Yeah, fortitude -- isn’t that an awesome word? I often encourage my kids to upgrade their attitudes, and from now on, I'm going to suggest they try Fortitude!!!) Mama, what are the high stakes games in your family? What are the areas that you can minimize efforts in order to have the energy to win at the high stakes games? Share with us if practicing winning from this perspective elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Kaylee Garrett on Unsplash Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip, empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Lately, our family has been discussing, “what does it mean to be a Family Team?” Initially, the question of "Who is the Coach of the Family Team?" seemed to have an obvious answer: Mom and Dad! But, thinking about the role of Coach more specifically, we decided that Heavenly Father better fits that description. For one thing, Mom and Dad are out on the playing field of Life right along with our kiddos. We're figuring out the Game as we go, too. We might have been on the field a little longer than the children, kind of like being Seniors in High School versus the Little Leaguers. Heavenly Father, on the other hand, is so knowledgeable about the Game -- being that He is omniscient, and all! He has studied the opposition and knows their tactics… and in the case of the Family Team, we don't compete against other families, but rather against those forces that are trying to break down our family. These forces come in all shapes and sizes: scary things like immorality and addictions; ugly things like vulgarity and violence; things that disguise themselves as good, like over-scheduling or over-indulgence; sneaky things like selfishness and pride. Heavenly Father asks a lot of us, just like any good coach would. He requires us to build our muscles individually, in preparation, long before we compete in games. He wants us to workout on our own as well as show up to practice day in and day out, and scrimmage a bit. He knows what our individual challenges are and sets up situations to help us develop the skills we need to overcome those weaknesses. He has developed the Ultimate PlayBook, aka the Scriptures! Mama, try hiring God as your coach -- the only salary he requires is Love! Love God, Mama! He’ll fill your heart with even greater love! Share with us if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Rojan Maharjan on Unsplash.com Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip, empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Have you thought of your family as a team? It’s a fun way to look at how our family interacts. Just as sports teams have different positions to be played, we can define those roles for our family team. If I got to pick the team Captain, it would be Jesus Christ! He sets the example. He calls the shots. He takes the heat for us when we fail, and he encourages us to get up and try again. Our family team Cheerleader is ME, as the Mom! Okay, that might be a little gender-typing going on ... but for real, I LOVE cheering my kids on! What about the Waterboy? Could that be... Dad?! Ha, just kidding... although, in our family, he does a good job of making sure we have the Living Water in our lives. Who’s the Referee or Umpire? Hmmmm... in our family, that’s definitely our oldest child... He has already discovered the right way to do everything, so he makes sure everyone else lives up to that! Other position titles are sport specific, like quarterback, pitcher, goalie, scrum half (that's a rugby term!), attacker (lacrosse!), or chaser (quidditch). I'm sure each of us can think of ways our individual children fit into these various roles... and interestingly, we can mix sports metaphors on our family teams, because of the way WINNING is defined differently! Mama, take some time today to think about each of your children’s contributions to the family team. Offer them positive feedback about how they’re playing the game of life! High fives and fist pumps go a long way in cheering on our family teammates, and they play the game better when they know we’re their number one fans. Share if this cheerleading practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Helena Lopes on Unsplash Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip, empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
We usually END our tip with a challenge, but I’m going to START that way today: Gather your family and have a discussion about how your family is a TEAM... Have everyone close their eyes and visualize whatever comes to their mind when they hear the word TEAM. Then have everyone share! Maybe your discussion will go a little like our family’s did... My oldest child pictured his favorite football team, the Broncos. Specifically, the logo since he was wearing Peyton Manning’s jersey. This taught us that there are individual team members and that teams are identified by certain artwork. I wondered if our family team has a logo of sorts? Next, my husband brought up the Red Sox and how they finally won the World Series after decades of not… Talk about team solidarity, and keeping on attempting to win no matter how many losses precede the final victory! My twins had the same thing in mind -- they are, after all, identical -- they had our favorite university playing against its rival. Upon further questioning, though, it turns out one of them was picturing a basketball game while the other had football in mind. That brought up the fact that there are different sports, and that there are competitions and rivalries… My brain kept trying to figure out how this applies to our family team. My four year old’s one-word contribution was, "Winning!" He also noted that winning is followed up with partying! My second oldest, Truman, pictured a team of people playing Dungeons and Dragons. This brought up the fact that not all teams are sports teams -- a perfect way for me to introduce the idea that our FAMILY is a TEAM, and that we want to WIN! Moms, try having this discussion about viewing your family as a TEAM -- then share with us on Facebook if practicing this new family vision elevates your mothering! |
