 Photo Credit: Kevin Gent on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you help your child put their shoes on! Hi, I’m Regan from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
My three-year-old's favorite PBS show is called Dinosaur Train. Yesterday I walked in as the show was ending and Dr. Scott the Paleontologist announced that it was now time to turn off the TV, go outside, and "make your own discoveries!" I borrowed a little of Dr. Scott's enthusiasm and repeated the same invitation as I flicked the off button. I braced for the usual protest -- "Just one more show!!!" but instead, my little guy looked at me with excitement in his eyes and said, "Yeah! Let's go make our own discoveries!" Then as an afterthought, he asked, "Mom, what's a discovery?" "Oh, child," I said with awe in my voice as I grabbed his pudgy little hands, as we walked to the back door. "Discovery is looking around with eyes wide open. You see things you’ve already seen AND you notice brand new things. Then... Then..." I paused to build his anticipation. We sat down to put on his shoes. "Then..." "You think and you wonder and you ask questions and you want to know and learn and -- " (using my best mysterious voice, I continued) -- " you solve mysteries and expose secrets!" His verbal response: “Awesome” was accompanied by a non-verbal response that was even better. He took hold of his one-year old sister's pudgy little hand, led her out the door, and with gentle joy, showed her a lady bug. Mom, try exemplifying enthusiasm to spark the curiosity about real life as you limit screen time today, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!
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 Photo Credit: Matthew Lancaster on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you drive your car through the carwash. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
America the Beautiful -- and the WEALTHY! We moan and groan about the prices of gasoline and groceries... but seriously?!? The poor among us live better than the kings of the middle ages. Living in an Abundant Society is a blessing... right?! Well, yes! I thank God every day in prayer for modern day luxuries and conveniences. But I’m convinced there are also Curses connected to Living in an Abundance The Seven Deadly Sins give us a framework to describe how our plentitude contributes to destructive vices. Could being wealthy encourage lust? Since we have so much free time and expendable income, we can afford to spend time and money on pornography & prostitution... yes, those forms of lust have been around since the beginning of time, but they are more accessible, and --worse-- more acceptable amidst abundance. Since getting a meal is as easy as driving up to the fast-food window and paying a minimal amount for a high-calorie, low-nutrition meal, our gluttony contributes to our obesity and the resultant healthcare crisis, a curse for sure. We’ve labeled an entire generation “The Me Generation” and talk worriedly about entitlement, a synonym for greed. Meeting survival needs so easily means that we can focus our efforts on other things -- or on nothing. We can be lazy but we won't starve. Abundance means there are no built-in negative consequences to discourage sloth. Why would having plenty lead to anger?! Opportunities to develop and practice patience, the antithesis to anger, are fewer and further between amidst abundance. Envy fuels debt so we can “keep up with the Joneses.” Debt is definitely destructive. Pride -- the attitude that having more than someone else makes you better than they are -- hmmm... Is abundance linked to pridefulness? Is childbirth linked to motherhood? America currently has money for all of our needs and many of our wants, plus enough to help other countries. My hope is that we'll enjoy the benefits brought on by wealth while conscientiously avoiding the potential curses it could contribute to. Mom, develop proper monetary attitudes with your children, discussing wants and needs so that living in abundance remains a blessing. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you eat chocolate! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I was asked to speak in church on Mother's Day a few years ago. I'd heard so many women say that they avoid church on Mother's Day because they can't stand the guilt as the speakers dish about their perfect moms. Since my mom really is perfect, and talking about her would definitely make other mothers feel guilty, I spoke about Mary, the mother of Jesus, instead. No, that didn’t help the guilt, but it let me illustrate how each of our children is also one of God's children and even though we’re merely - and severely - mortal, He still allowed us to mother them. The key to accepting our imperfect selves is knowing, while incredibly sweet and adorable, our children aren't perfect either. They need to see how we handle missteps so they can handle their own! (Mary, the mother of Jesus, couldn't have that line of reasoning, since her son was, indeed, perfect. Oh well.) Instead of wallowing in guilt, I choose to wallow in gratitude -- and I mean really roll around and get myself covered in it!!! I am so very thankful to BE a mom, even though it humbles me every minute of every day. Gratitude goes to God for giving me eight children to teach and learn from and practice forgiveness with (both asking and giving). Gratitude goes to my mom for setting a beautiful example of dedicated motherhood. Gratitude to my husband for supporting me in so many ways, and loving me, even though I yell at his quiver full of kids every once in a while. And Gratitude goes to my children for loving me in spite of me. Mom, when feelings of guilt get you down, let gratitude lift you back up! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Christopher Johnson on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you wipe the counters! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
As my 12-year old son paced around the kitchen shaking his hands, he explained his frenetic movements by declaring: “I just drank half an energy drink!” Our family tries to avoid caffeine in general, but rather than scold or be judgemental, I kept the conversation going by showing a little curiosity: "I've heard they don't taste very good -- what did you think?" "I thought it tasted good, but so did Josie and she drank the rest of it." I continued drawing out more info, using an even tone of voice. Not wanting to cause alarm and have him feel defensive... "Hmmm. How many hours ago was this? Have you experienced a crash yet?" "Um, I don't think so. See how I'm all jittery? I think it's still affecting me, making me want to keep moving. Crash would mean I'd go to sleep, right?" "Well, son, honestly, I don't know cuz I’ve never tried one. I've just seen advertising claiming one product is better because of a lesser-crash-factor." "Oh, yeah, I've seen those commercials too." I could see something in his eyes start processing his own body and how being "under the influence" was affecting him. Self-awareness is so important in situations like this -- where he can draw his own conclusions guided by light mom-pressure. "I think that's why energy drinks are considered addictive,” I kept talking nonchalantly while wiping down the countertops. “The drinker enjoys the high so much they don't want to experience the coming down, so they keep on drinking the product!" I wanted to enable him to think things through, while slipping in some kindly insights from his ever-lovin' Mama. I hope that my love, shown through calm conversation, will inspire my child to want the best for himself. If he still chooses to take on the caffeine dependence, my love will empower him when he’s ready to face the struggle of breaking free from it. I won’t be saying, “I told you so” -- I’ll be saying “I know you can do it!” Mom, try having a low-key conversation about a concern you have with your child -- in your head, first, so you can visualize a calm connection, realizing that consistent, calm, repetitive conversations likely have a longer-term, more positive impact than heated, rare discussions. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you wipe fingerprints off the mirror! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. One day, my 12 year old son came to me, telling me he was tired of getting reprimanded. Now, he's a good kid with a great sense of humor. He has excellent work ethic and is very thorough *when* he does his chores. This particular day, he hadn't yet done his chores even after several reminders... and as he voiced his concern, I had to agree that I had indeed been getting on him quite a bit for his annoying actions towards his siblings. I never intended to be the kind of mother who points out everything my child is doing wrong. I also regretted focusing on his faults, since I buy into the concept that what you focus on increases! I took a deep breath and hugged him and suggested we have a chat, assuring him that I knew one of his talents is his willingness to talk things over! We discussed what kinds of actions were getting him into trouble. As our conversation continued, it became clear that he had been so busy bugging his brothers and sisters that he ran out of time to do his chores. I decided to take what we were learning and phrase it more positively: When you're busy doing the things you're supposed to be doing, you won't have time to get in trouble! I can think of all sorts of ways this applies to life! Not just the life of a sweet 12 year old who is feeling worn down, but to all of us who struggle with guilt. Sometimes I’m so aware of my imperfections and basically reprimand myself all day -- that it sucks away my energy to accomplish the good stuff. So I'm going to start taking my own advice and flip that dynamic to my benefit. I'm going to be so busy with the good stuff that the bad stuff will naturally get cut out of my time-limited day. I won't have time to scowl, yell, and complain, because I’ll be too busy being grateful, giving compliments and encouragement, and smiling instead. Mom, try replacing the things that get you in trouble with good things that you’re supposed to be doing! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Tim Wildsmith on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you scrub the toilet! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
There’s a phrase that I like to hear as often as possible from my children... "Okay, Mommy." I love to hear it because it means my child has agreed to whatever torture or punishment I have inflicted upon them… brushing teeth for instance or having to read a book before getting screen time. These are things that I consistently request from my children, and I love it when they decide that it’s okay. But I also hear myself saying "Okay" often.... which may be where my kids have picked up on it. I'm glad I've set a good example in that sense. However, I'm not sure I always use the word “Okay” in the right context… for example: "We're going to get your pajammies on now, okay?" "Let's go brush your teeth, okay?" "You need to read a book BEFORE watching a movie, okay?" What does my "Okay" in these circumstances get across to my children? Is there really a choice in the matter? What if they’re inclined to say, "No, Mom, that's NOT Okay," would I rescind the request? Change my plans to fit my child’s lack of willingness to obey? I've determined that I need to pay close attention to my use of the word "Okay" -- and stop tacking it on the end of the instructions I’m giving. If my "Okay" means "Do you understand?" then I need to replace it with, "Do you understand?" I've been working on dropping the Okay from my instruction sentences for awhile now, and it’s a tough habit to change. I just repeat to myself: "Stop saying Okay all the time, Okay?!" Mama, what verbal messages are you sending that you might not really want to be sending? Brainstorm some alternatives and start conscientiously enhancing your communication! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering! |
