 Photo Credit: Jewel Johnson on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you get out the ingredients for this recipe! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
There are beans in my fudge. Black beans. In my fudge. Ya can't taste 'em. The fudge is still quite fudge-y -- *plenty* of sugar... The kids love it. I was even honest with them about the beans and they didn't seem worried at all. I've been eating plenty of bean-y fudge and I can report that there are no gaseous side effects so far! I’d also like to report an analogy that Beanie Fudge has brought to my mind. 21st century life is sweet!! Sometimes sickeningly sweet (like fudge). We have so many modern conveniences, time-saving devices, luxuries that are so commonplace we don’t even realize they’re luxuries anymore… and entertainment options out the wazoo. When we hear about life even just one century ago, we moan and groan just thinking about all the work those poor people had to do. Work, after all, is a four-letter word! Work is like the beans in my fudge... Hey, bean is four-letter word, too! The fiber, vitamins, minerals, and protein of beans offer life-sustaining substance amidst the sweetness that corrodes our teeth and disables our immune systems. Admittedly, there is still approximately four times as much sugar as there are beans in this recipe. Maybe that mirrors our modern-day ratio of play-to-work? Back in our grandparents' day, it was mostly beans and maybe a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down... Sometimes, I worry about our current culture of work avoidance, and feel that my duty as a mom is to introduce some beans in friendly ways, maybe disguised a bit in cocoa… I don’t feel a need to eliminate the "sugar" altogether, but I conscientiously include *some* beans amidst the fudge so that if circumstances change and a reverse ratio of beans to sugar were required, it wouldn’t be a total shock to our systems! I want to raise my children with both beans and sweetness. Hopefully, just like we’ve happily discovered about Beanie Fudge, this metaphorical equivalent will also be flatulence-free! Moms, try making Beanie Fudge both in real life and metaphorically, then share if this practice elevates your mothering! The recipe is on the Momivate website under the Blogs tab in Two Minute Mom Tips BEANIE FUDGE 1 Can of Black Beans -- about 1 and 1/4 cups -- drained and rinsed 3/4 Cup cocoa -- rounded 3/4 Cup butter and/or coconut oil, warm enough to be mostly liquid 4 Cups powdered sugar -- scant NOW CHOOSE A FLAVOR: 2 Tbsps Vanilla OR 6-8 drops peppermint essential oil OR 3 Tbsp. peanut butter Blend in food processor or blender until smooth & creamy! Pour onto waxed paper and refrigerate at least 20 minutes before serving. Keep leftovers in the fridge -- if there are any! (Use at room temperature as frosting!)
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Dry Bones Song - The foot bone connected to the ankle bone - songs for kids by Alina Celeste
Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you pick up your kids' backpacks off the floor! (Just kidding -- you'll get the joke as you listen, though)
Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
As moms, we often notice family dynamics that aren’t necessarily positive. As moms, we often feel like we need to take charge and change up those dynamics -- and if we can do so in a positive, non-threatening manner and tone, it’s easier to be patient as the dynamic generally requires time to be adjusted. One situation we have had to work on in our family is when the kids come home from school... They're so happy and relieved to be home, and of course, they need their hands free so they can hug me! So they drop their coat and backpack on the floor right in front of the door. Then they go about getting a snack … and the coat and backpack are left to be booby-traps, ready to trip the poor unassuming person who happens to come home next. I decided that my kids’ brains need to be connected to their hands, so that when their hands are ready to let go of any given object, their brains send out a red alert, "Wait! Don't let go until the item is where it belongs!!!" Now, I tend to think that my children’s brains, although not fully-formed, really do know where things belong. It's just that their brains aren't aware of what's happening down at the end of the arms. So that's when we put our hands on our heads and say in the spirit of that old folk song, "Brain bones connected to the hand bones!" To hear Alina Celeste's version of this silly song -- since she's a professional singer and likely more fun to listen to -- pop onto our Momivate.org website and it'll be under Two-Minute Mom Tips in the Blog section! Moms, try being silly with your kids to help them learn a new habit, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you wipe fingerprints off the mirror! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. One day, my 12 year old son came to me, telling me he was tired of getting reprimanded. Now, he's a good kid with a great sense of humor. He has excellent work ethic and is very thorough *when* he does his chores. This particular day, he hadn't yet done his chores even after several reminders... and as he voiced his concern, I had to agree that I had indeed been getting on him quite a bit for his annoying actions towards his siblings. I never intended to be the kind of mother who points out everything my child is doing wrong. I also regretted focusing on his faults, since I buy into the concept that what you focus on increases! I took a deep breath and hugged him and suggested we have a chat, assuring him that I knew one of his talents is his willingness to talk things over! We discussed what kinds of actions were getting him into trouble. As our conversation continued, it became clear that he had been so busy bugging his brothers and sisters that he ran out of time to do his chores. I decided to take what we were learning and phrase it more positively: When you're busy doing the things you're supposed to be doing, you won't have time to get in trouble! I can think of all sorts of ways this applies to life! Not just the life of a sweet 12 year old who is feeling worn down, but to all of us who struggle with guilt. Sometimes I’m so aware of my imperfections and basically reprimand myself all day -- that it sucks away my energy to accomplish the good stuff. So I'm going to start taking my own advice and flip that dynamic to my benefit. I'm going to be so busy with the good stuff that the bad stuff will naturally get cut out of my time-limited day. I won't have time to scowl, yell, and complain, because I’ll be too busy being grateful, giving compliments and encouragement, and smiling instead. Mom, try replacing the things that get you in trouble with good things that you’re supposed to be doing! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Patrice Audet on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you dance up a storm! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. Remember that catchy tune "Eye of the Tiger" from the Rocky III movie? I confess, I haven't actually seen Rocky III… but I have been developing the Eye of the Mommy… let me explain! For many years, I was unable to see messes. I was so absorbed in the present task (making more of a mess) that I didn't pay much attention to existing messes. This kind of blindness is a blessing to some extent because the messy environments of mothering eight kids don’t phase me. But being comfortable in my own mess doesn’t make my family and friends feel comfortable, so in that sense it has been more of a curse… So I have been trying to improve my “mess-vision” and now I have “The Eye of the Mommy!” Hoping to give my children a head-start in life and not have to be embarrassed into cleanliness, I have been figuring out how to instill in my offspring the desire --and ability-- to be tidy. I’ve taught my kids that after they've completed a job, they need to have it inspected. That's the order it is supposed to go in: finish first, then get inspected. Sometimes, though, they ask for an inspection and when I go to do it, it’s clear the job has NOT been completed very thoroughly. So, now when they report that they’re ready for inspection, I respond: "Did you use the Eye of the Mommy?" They'll often go back and work again for a few minutes... and that's okay! They're learning how to *see* messes on their own! I personally know that improving that eyesight is a gradual process... Sometimes, it seems there’s an eyepatch on my own “Eye of the Mommy” and our home is not as tidy as it could be. And that's okay. Really! An important purpose can be served in allowing the kids to suffer from the opposite of cleanliness! They'll be more able to appreciate when our home is clean -- and more interested in doing the cleaning! Moms, try encouraging your children to use the Eye of the Mommy next time and see if they can upgrade their chore performance on their own! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you scrub grime off the countertop. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Stealthy Eating... if you were a kid, wouldn't this sound intriguing?! Well, that's my goal... intrigue my kids into better behavior. I've tried nagging. Doesn't work. So any guesses on what Stealthy Eating might be?! This concept was inspired by The Mary Poppins Mentality -- "Snap! The Job's a Game!" -- as well as the fact that some of my kiddos are old enough to help themselves in the kitchen. When their tummies have the teensiest bit of space open up, they ask themselves, "Why wait for Mom? I can reach the graham crackers and milk by myself!" Fellow mothers, have you ever cleaned up graham cracker crumbs soaked in milk that got spilled on the counter and then dried? If anyone wants to develop an adhesive to compete against Elmer’s Glue, start here! And so, I approached my children with this message: Children, (with the Mission Impossible theme song playing in the background), your mission, and you need to accept it so Mom won't self-destruct, is to CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR SNACK! If you can reach the graham crackers and milk, you can also reach the sink and the washcloth! Stealthy Eating is: “Eating so that Mom can't tell you were ever in the kitchen!” Yes, you CAN do it! Just like the Stealth Bombers that fly in the sky unnoticed! Moms, try teaching your children Stealthy Eating skills… then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Jarek Ceborski on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you clean out the junk drawer. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I have limited energy, Mamas, so I have to choose wisely what to spend it on. I choose to NOT waste energy on complaining about chores, 'cuz they gotta get done so we might as well use our energy to work rather than whine. Chores aren't a punishment! They aren't slave labor devised to build character, as my children believe! They are simply what needs to be done as a result of something else being done first. And so I present to you… The Parable of the Open Drawers In our family, we like to eat. It's a silly little thing, I know, but something about growling tummies, and boom, we're in the brand-spankin'-clean kitchen lookin' for somethin' to put down the ol' cake-hole. I don't know if this happens in your house, but alluvasudden, the kitchen ain't so clean anymore. So the conversation goes something like this: MOM: Hey, kiddos, now that we’ve eaten, let's clean up! KIDDOS (in unison): But Mah-ahm, we didn't do anything wrong. We just had a snack. Don't punish us! Seeing the need for a demonstration, I open all the drawers in the kitchen, leaving them out. Then I try to dance through the kitchen, dramatically banging into the open drawers... MOM: Children, chores are like closing a drawer. You close it because you opened it, and because a closed drawer clears the way for more fun. In an area with open drawers, ya can't have as much fun. Taking the time to close drawers ...or do chores... gives you space to be free. I see the lights go on in my oldest child's eyes. Whew! Once I have him helping me, together we can convince the others of the cleverness of this perspective! Moms, try Dancing among Open Drawers this week, illustrating the necessity and blessing of chores to your kiddos! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: The Creative Exchange on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you shampoo the kids' hair as they bathe! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I confess: I hate the word "chores." I'll bet most people do. It's just filled with drudgery that weighs you down the moment you think it. Ugh. And so, in our house, we try really hard never to do chores. Instead, we take FLYLady's advice and we "Bless Our Home." We have gone through various chore charts and systems -- what I've figured out is, no system works unless I do! Yup, that's MY job as the mom, is to execute whatever system is posted on the fridge at the moment. I have to be the one to rally the troops... On regular weekdays, I aim for Sloppy Success rather than Perfect Failure... got that one from Hannah Keeley). I leave the "be thorough" expectation for Saturday's BIG Bless Our Home. I try to set a good example for my kiddos by whistlin' while I work -- although, really, I can't whistle, so instead I make up silly songs about whatever chore, errr, whatever way I'm blessing the house at the moment. Imagine what kinds of silly rhymes I have to come up with for "garbage" or "dishwasher?" Recently, I created a parody of the Beauty and The Beast song “Be Our Guest” replacing those words with “Bless Our Home!” Of course, there are times when I can't bring myself to sing, maybe I’m just having a low energy day or I’m a little overwhelmed by the repetition and magnitude of the task of keeping a home even just somewhat tidy. I usually can still manage to ward off the grumpiness by turning my voice robotic. We all would love to have a robot do our chores, right?! Fellow Mom, are you willing to give up chores and try “Blessing Your Home” this week, maybe even singing as you go? Then share if this practice elevates your mothering! |
