 Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you match socks! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Whew! What a day! Busy, busy, busy. You know what it feels like: the gear shift feels stuck in “drive” all day long, full-speed ahead, downhill with the force of gravity having full sway… sometimes it’s terrifying! Maybe I’m an adrenaline junkie or have a little ADHD, but I have to admit that I kinda like days like this. I like knowing what’s the next thing to get done -- or seventy-two specific things. I love To-Do Lists -- attacking them like my pen is a sword, scratching off items viciously in victory! Sometimes I work retroactively, writing down whatever-it-is that's been using up my time just so I can cross it off and give myself credit! Things like changing diapers, snuggling a kiddo during a rough time, cleaning up an unanticipated mess… the “mental load” of problem-solving and scheduling and decision-making. I’ve noticed two factors that can make the day feel like a whirlwind: The first is duties and events put on my calendar by various responsibilities. The second is due to my conscious effort to make the most of each minute on my own, not based on outside obligations, but because I love life and don’t want to waste a minute of it. This can be both exhilarating and exhausting. And it makes built-in downtime more valuable and more necessary. The idea that I always wake up to a full slate was taught to me in a housecleaning class! There is always something to clean or de-clutter. In the life of a mother, there is always a child to hug, to read to, to convince to eat nutritious food, to encourage in their chores & homework… life offers full and rich experiences in every moment if we’ll accept what each moment offers -- including the slow-down times when just sitting and breathing mindfully is enough. The “Full Slate” concept is sometimes discouraging to me since the day-in/day-out, repetitive things that tend to fill up the slate aren’t the “fun” things I want to fill up my to-do list with. However, as I've embraced the truth of it, I find it liberating! Even meager efforts towards consistency keep things cleaner, more organized, and less overwhelming -- and therefore simpler and faster -- so the reward is that I can spend time doing tasks that I deem a little more fun than housecleaning. Mom, consider your “Full Slate” and see how consistency can open up more fun time and more down time, and use that time to count your blessings, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!
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 Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you make your bed. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I’m a parenting book junkie -- and I want to share one of the best of the best with you today. Glenn Latham wrote “Christlike Parenting” with the goal of helping parents use the Savior's life as an example for interacting with our children. Bible stories that I've known for decades have new meaning because of this author’s perspective. The one element I'll focus on here is the idea that most bad behavior can be ignored, while good behavior needs to be praised profusely. The author’s profession is behavioral therapy, so he put a number to it! He said the ratio of positive interactions to negative needs to be roughly 8-to-1. For every time I criticize my child, I need to find eight compliments to give. EIGHT happy, positive statements are necessary to balance the one time I yell, criticize, or chastise. The author admits that sometimes it's a reach. He suggests having a back-up collection of phrases as simple as, "Good breathing, son!" and "I like how your shoulders are so straight!" for those times when I've been dishing out so much disapproval that it's difficult to switch the gears. One way I increase my ratio is to rephrase the same positive in several different ways. "Oh, thank you for hugging your sister and saying sorry. That is wonderful and shows so much love! I'm happy that you are full of love. I'm sure you feel that happy feeling, too! Oh, and look how happy your sister is! Isn't that wonderful? We're spreading love and happiness in our home." Just striving for a higher ratio has made a huge difference in how I interact with my children. And, honestly, it has changed me into a happier person in general. I am now on the look-out constantly for positive things to point out, and much less likely to bother with the negative. I love to see how my child's eyes shine when I’m giving out sincere compliments! Mom, try increasing your compliments and praise in this exponential way, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Kevin Gent on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you help your child put their shoes on! Hi, I’m Regan from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
My three-year-old's favorite PBS show is called Dinosaur Train. Yesterday I walked in as the show was ending and Dr. Scott the Paleontologist announced that it was now time to turn off the TV, go outside, and "make your own discoveries!" I borrowed a little of Dr. Scott's enthusiasm and repeated the same invitation as I flicked the off button. I braced for the usual protest -- "Just one more show!!!" but instead, my little guy looked at me with excitement in his eyes and said, "Yeah! Let's go make our own discoveries!" Then as an afterthought, he asked, "Mom, what's a discovery?" "Oh, child," I said with awe in my voice as I grabbed his pudgy little hands, as we walked to the back door. "Discovery is looking around with eyes wide open. You see things you’ve already seen AND you notice brand new things. Then... Then..." I paused to build his anticipation. We sat down to put on his shoes. "Then..." "You think and you wonder and you ask questions and you want to know and learn and -- " (using my best mysterious voice, I continued) -- " you solve mysteries and expose secrets!" His verbal response: “Awesome” was accompanied by a non-verbal response that was even better. He took hold of his one-year old sister's pudgy little hand, led her out the door, and with gentle joy, showed her a lady bug. Mom, try exemplifying enthusiasm to spark the curiosity about real life as you limit screen time today, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Matthew Lancaster on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you drive your car through the carwash. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
America the Beautiful -- and the WEALTHY! We moan and groan about the prices of gasoline and groceries... but seriously?!? The poor among us live better than the kings of the middle ages. Living in an Abundant Society is a blessing... right?! Well, yes! I thank God every day in prayer for modern day luxuries and conveniences. But I’m convinced there are also Curses connected to Living in an Abundance The Seven Deadly Sins give us a framework to describe how our plentitude contributes to destructive vices. Could being wealthy encourage lust? Since we have so much free time and expendable income, we can afford to spend time and money on pornography & prostitution... yes, those forms of lust have been around since the beginning of time, but they are more accessible, and --worse-- more acceptable amidst abundance. Since getting a meal is as easy as driving up to the fast-food window and paying a minimal amount for a high-calorie, low-nutrition meal, our gluttony contributes to our obesity and the resultant healthcare crisis, a curse for sure. We’ve labeled an entire generation “The Me Generation” and talk worriedly about entitlement, a synonym for greed. Meeting survival needs so easily means that we can focus our efforts on other things -- or on nothing. We can be lazy but we won't starve. Abundance means there are no built-in negative consequences to discourage sloth. Why would having plenty lead to anger?! Opportunities to develop and practice patience, the antithesis to anger, are fewer and further between amidst abundance. Envy fuels debt so we can “keep up with the Joneses.” Debt is definitely destructive. Pride -- the attitude that having more than someone else makes you better than they are -- hmmm... Is abundance linked to pridefulness? Is childbirth linked to motherhood? America currently has money for all of our needs and many of our wants, plus enough to help other countries. My hope is that we'll enjoy the benefits brought on by wealth while conscientiously avoiding the potential curses it could contribute to. Mom, develop proper monetary attitudes with your children, discussing wants and needs so that living in abundance remains a blessing. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you eat chocolate! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I was asked to speak in church on Mother's Day a few years ago. I'd heard so many women say that they avoid church on Mother's Day because they can't stand the guilt as the speakers dish about their perfect moms. Since my mom really is perfect, and talking about her would definitely make other mothers feel guilty, I spoke about Mary, the mother of Jesus, instead. No, that didn’t help the guilt, but it let me illustrate how each of our children is also one of God's children and even though we’re merely - and severely - mortal, He still allowed us to mother them. The key to accepting our imperfect selves is knowing, while incredibly sweet and adorable, our children aren't perfect either. They need to see how we handle missteps so they can handle their own! (Mary, the mother of Jesus, couldn't have that line of reasoning, since her son was, indeed, perfect. Oh well.) Instead of wallowing in guilt, I choose to wallow in gratitude -- and I mean really roll around and get myself covered in it!!! I am so very thankful to BE a mom, even though it humbles me every minute of every day. Gratitude goes to God for giving me eight children to teach and learn from and practice forgiveness with (both asking and giving). Gratitude goes to my mom for setting a beautiful example of dedicated motherhood. Gratitude to my husband for supporting me in so many ways, and loving me, even though I yell at his quiver full of kids every once in a while. And Gratitude goes to my children for loving me in spite of me. Mom, when feelings of guilt get you down, let gratitude lift you back up! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Christopher Johnson on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you wipe the counters! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
As my 12-year old son paced around the kitchen shaking his hands, he explained his frenetic movements by declaring: “I just drank half an energy drink!” Our family tries to avoid caffeine in general, but rather than scold or be judgemental, I kept the conversation going by showing a little curiosity: "I've heard they don't taste very good -- what did you think?" "I thought it tasted good, but so did Josie and she drank the rest of it." I continued drawing out more info, using an even tone of voice. Not wanting to cause alarm and have him feel defensive... "Hmmm. How many hours ago was this? Have you experienced a crash yet?" "Um, I don't think so. See how I'm all jittery? I think it's still affecting me, making me want to keep moving. Crash would mean I'd go to sleep, right?" "Well, son, honestly, I don't know cuz I’ve never tried one. I've just seen advertising claiming one product is better because of a lesser-crash-factor." "Oh, yeah, I've seen those commercials too." I could see something in his eyes start processing his own body and how being "under the influence" was affecting him. Self-awareness is so important in situations like this -- where he can draw his own conclusions guided by light mom-pressure. "I think that's why energy drinks are considered addictive,” I kept talking nonchalantly while wiping down the countertops. “The drinker enjoys the high so much they don't want to experience the coming down, so they keep on drinking the product!" I wanted to enable him to think things through, while slipping in some kindly insights from his ever-lovin' Mama. I hope that my love, shown through calm conversation, will inspire my child to want the best for himself. If he still chooses to take on the caffeine dependence, my love will empower him when he’s ready to face the struggle of breaking free from it. I won’t be saying, “I told you so” -- I’ll be saying “I know you can do it!” Mom, try having a low-key conversation about a concern you have with your child -- in your head, first, so you can visualize a calm connection, realizing that consistent, calm, repetitive conversations likely have a longer-term, more positive impact than heated, rare discussions. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: National Cancer Institute on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you chop up veggies for a salad! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. Ya know, I wouldn't mind feeding my kids if they would just stay full. But no matter how much love I put into a meal, how much effort or energy or planning... they're hungry again in just a few hours. Over the couple of decades that I've been studying motherhood, I've determined that if I can make homemade meals less complicated, the more committed I’ll be to the work involved, and our whole family can bask in the many benefits: health, financial, and familial. I now have happy meal planning sessions because I just focus on including three elements in each meal: a protein (plant-based more often than not), a grain (ideally a whole one), and a fruit or veggie (bonus points for fresh produce!). I have removed some pressure from myself by teaching these elements to my kids, and having them do a mental checklist as they feed themselves breakfast or pack their school lunches. We have a list posted on the inside of a cabinet door so they can choose from things that are generally part of each week’s grocery trip. Oh, how I'd love to have a week's worth of dinners neatly typed up every Sunday night, but that's a battle I have only won periodically. Instead, I aim to know by 10am what we'll have for dinner that night -- and that has been a more victorious way for me to meal-plan! One way I thin-out the myriad possibilities is by assigning a theme to each night and finding a recipe that fits the genre. International night! Pasta night! Chicken night! Beans & rice night! Potatoes night! Seafood night! Leftovers night! I don't *really* want my kiddos to stop eating. I know it might keep my kitchen cleaner, but I've observed that kids with full tummies behave better, not to mention the obvious gains in physical growth. So, these simplified systems help me stay committed to healthful home-based meals and endure with confidence my family’s continual need for nourishment. Mom, what are some ways you can simplify this task that takes place at least 21 times each week? Increase how often you eat meals at home by brainstorming ways to meet the challenges inherent in this duty. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Andrew George on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you clean out the car. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Here's a throwback to high school physics: remember the Law of Conservation of Matter? Here's a little reminder with an illustration Imagine a glass of milk and chocolate syrup. Mix those together: something has definitely changed, but the amount of total liquid is still the same as before. Even if you drink the milk and the cup appears to be empty, the liquid still exists -- it wasn’t destroyed -- it just changed places. Nothing was created, nothing was destroyed. Amount-wise, it all stayed the same regardless of the color change or change of place. Well, unfortunately, I tend to notice a Law of Conservation of Goodness in my life as a mother. I have several areas of my life in which I strive for improvement: getting the laundry done! being patient and calm with my children! exposing my children to good music! including the Lord in my day-to-day life! making nourishing meals! Managing my time so I get some one-on-one time with each of my kids as well as with girlfriends and my ever-lovin' husband! cleaning out the car! and the list goes on and on and on and on. So I set goals. And I work towards improvement. But it seems like when I get good at one thing, I get worse at another thing. Dangit! That's what I mean about the Law of Conservation of Goodness -- that it appears I can neither create nor destroy the total amount of goodness in my life. It seems stuck at a constant and just changes form, changes color, changes places, changes which goal it applies to. However, in all honesty, I've determined that this is a FALSE law. Oh, it might apply to energy and matter in physics. But as I am getting old enough now to have a little hindsight, I can see a little success in my attempts to get better, even though it looked like it was balanced out by regression in a neglected area. I am definitely better off than if I hadn't ever made the attempts. Journaling has allowed me to gain this more accurate perspective, and I recommend this practice to you! Mom, genuinely give yourself credit for how you’ve gradually improved over the years, and pat yourself on the back, resolving not to get discouraged as the path of progression stretches out to the horizon. Use a journal to record your thoughts. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Brytny on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you rock your newborn to sleep! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
NEWSFLASH: Babies cry. They cry for all sorts of reasons. My job is to try to figure out why they're crying, and then do what I can to resolve the problem or at least offer a little comfort. They might still cry, even when I'm doin' my darndest to make it stop. Sometimes, I notice that I'm singing to them not because it calms them, but because it calms me! (It only just now occurred to me that possibly my singing makes them cry worse). Amidst the various and sundry cry-fests daily, I don’t see a need to purposely add more crying nightly! Our American culture is so steeped in the cry-it-out method for bedtime that precious little info is out there for moms who want to do it differently. I recommend a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. The author recognizes that some of us just don't want sleep-time to be cry-time. She has experience both co-sleeping (which I enjoy), and crib-sleeping. The trick she teaches is the importance of a routine, good options to include in a sleep routine, and how to successfully establish a routine so that bedtime is better all around. So, baby and I follow a solid routine both for naps and nighttime. I have it posted in our bedroom to help myself remember the steps *in order* -- because babies are so tuned in to structure. Repetitively doing the routine wires baby’s brain so that each element serves as a sleep-signal. As we go through each step, baby winds down and gets sleepier and sleepier eventually drifting peacefully off... to... sleeeee... honk,shoooo… Moms, institute a bedtime routine with your little ones -- it’s never too late! -- then share if this practice elevates your mothering! Here's our routine in detail, plus a few extra notes from the book! Change diaper (smile calmly and tell her it's sleep time) close door & turn off light turn on white-noise wrap in blankie; offer lovey-doll (keep smiling calmly so she has positive feelings about sleep) dance together while singing until she's very drowsy shhhh in her ear while I put her down keep shushing as I leave the room If she wakes up and fusses for more than ten seconds or so, go back in and do the routine again (starting at the blankie/lovey part). Chart how it goes over the course of ten days, and you'll see a difference as both you and baby get accustomed to the routine. Keep up the ten-day increments to keep seeing progress. Keep in mind that baby's body has to adjust to lots of changes as she grows, such as teething, learning new skills from grasping with hands to walking, and these can disrupt sleep patterns. The routine will rescue you and create a calm, bonding bedtime ritual each time.  Photo Credit: Jewel Johnson on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you get out the ingredients for this recipe! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
There are beans in my fudge. Black beans. In my fudge. Ya can't taste 'em. The fudge is still quite fudge-y -- *plenty* of sugar... The kids love it. I was even honest with them about the beans and they didn't seem worried at all. I've been eating plenty of bean-y fudge and I can report that there are no gaseous side effects so far! I’d also like to report an analogy that Beanie Fudge has brought to my mind. 21st century life is sweet!! Sometimes sickeningly sweet (like fudge). We have so many modern conveniences, time-saving devices, luxuries that are so commonplace we don’t even realize they’re luxuries anymore… and entertainment options out the wazoo. When we hear about life even just one century ago, we moan and groan just thinking about all the work those poor people had to do. Work, after all, is a four-letter word! Work is like the beans in my fudge... Hey, bean is four-letter word, too! The fiber, vitamins, minerals, and protein of beans offer life-sustaining substance amidst the sweetness that corrodes our teeth and disables our immune systems. Admittedly, there is still approximately four times as much sugar as there are beans in this recipe. Maybe that mirrors our modern-day ratio of play-to-work? Back in our grandparents' day, it was mostly beans and maybe a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down... Sometimes, I worry about our current culture of work avoidance, and feel that my duty as a mom is to introduce some beans in friendly ways, maybe disguised a bit in cocoa… I don’t feel a need to eliminate the "sugar" altogether, but I conscientiously include *some* beans amidst the fudge so that if circumstances change and a reverse ratio of beans to sugar were required, it wouldn’t be a total shock to our systems! I want to raise my children with both beans and sweetness. Hopefully, just like we’ve happily discovered about Beanie Fudge, this metaphorical equivalent will also be flatulence-free! Moms, try making Beanie Fudge both in real life and metaphorically, then share if this practice elevates your mothering! The recipe is on the Momivate website under the Blogs tab in Two Minute Mom Tips BEANIE FUDGE 1 Can of Black Beans -- about 1 and 1/4 cups -- drained and rinsed 3/4 Cup cocoa -- rounded 3/4 Cup butter and/or coconut oil, warm enough to be mostly liquid 4 Cups powdered sugar -- scant NOW CHOOSE A FLAVOR: 2 Tbsps Vanilla OR 6-8 drops peppermint essential oil OR 3 Tbsp. peanut butter Blend in food processor or blender until smooth & creamy! Pour onto waxed paper and refrigerate at least 20 minutes before serving. Keep leftovers in the fridge -- if there are any! (Use at room temperature as frosting!)  Photo by Tamar Waskey on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you take a bubble bath while your husband does bedtime with the kids! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Aahhhh, bedtime! We all look forward to it, don't we? At least, we look forward to the time when those energetic little ones finally rest, so we can too. Luckily, I've been blessed to get to look forward to the actual getting-ready-for-bed rigamarole also! For some reason, it isn't a huge struggle in our family... in fact, it's a lovely bonding time! I guess I'm making it sound like the "some reason" is unbeknownst to me and we've just had this beautiful fate befall us out of nowhere. To tell the truth, though, I do know the reason. It's called: Daddy! Let me tell you about the conversation I had with an attractive member of the male species back in college days. He mentioned that he planned to take the advice of one of his professors who suggested a secret to success in marriage and parenthood: Daddy does bedtime. I decided to marry said male right then and there! Mommy is so worn out from making decisions and refereeing and cleaning up messes and her patience has worn thin and she just wants to go to bed herself, not try to convince and connive and coerce. Daddy, on the other hand, hasn't yet gotten to spend quality time with his offspring and he brings a different kind of energy to the experience. The kids are excited to get to spend time with him, even if it means they end up asleep -- at least they're dreaming sweet dreams. We post a bedtime list so the kids can keep Daddy focused, from baths and jammies to teeth brushing and saying prayers and reading books, the kids usually cooperate but if they don’t, Daddy gets to deal with the discipline instead of Mom having to again (an important dynamic to include him in that part of parenting.) All-in-all, from the time Daddy sends them off to put on pajamas to when their eyelids are finally closed for the night, it's a good hour of his time, but he doesn't seem to mind at all. It’s an hour of connecting, redirecting, bonding and blessing these precious children of his, and the effects last more than an hour and expand to more than just good sleep. And Mommy has been relaxing (aka recovering) in the other room... So when Dad comes to do bedtime with her, they can reconnect successfully in their own special way! Moms, try giving the bedtime responsibility to Daddy, helping him see the potential fatherly benefits of such an arrangement, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!
Dry Bones Song - The foot bone connected to the ankle bone - songs for kids by Alina Celeste
Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you pick up your kids' backpacks off the floor! (Just kidding -- you'll get the joke as you listen, though)
Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
As moms, we often notice family dynamics that aren’t necessarily positive. As moms, we often feel like we need to take charge and change up those dynamics -- and if we can do so in a positive, non-threatening manner and tone, it’s easier to be patient as the dynamic generally requires time to be adjusted. One situation we have had to work on in our family is when the kids come home from school... They're so happy and relieved to be home, and of course, they need their hands free so they can hug me! So they drop their coat and backpack on the floor right in front of the door. Then they go about getting a snack … and the coat and backpack are left to be booby-traps, ready to trip the poor unassuming person who happens to come home next. I decided that my kids’ brains need to be connected to their hands, so that when their hands are ready to let go of any given object, their brains send out a red alert, "Wait! Don't let go until the item is where it belongs!!!" Now, I tend to think that my children’s brains, although not fully-formed, really do know where things belong. It's just that their brains aren't aware of what's happening down at the end of the arms. So that's when we put our hands on our heads and say in the spirit of that old folk song, "Brain bones connected to the hand bones!" To hear Alina Celeste's version of this silly song -- since she's a professional singer and likely more fun to listen to -- pop onto our Momivate.org website and it'll be under Two-Minute Mom Tips in the Blog section! Moms, try being silly with your kids to help them learn a new habit, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you pack up your 72 hour kits. (Fair warning: this Mom Tip is actually 3 minutes long...) Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
On Wednesday morning, March 11, 2020, my family was gathered for our morning devotional, and an odd, rumbling noise caused us all to pause. Instantaneously, I knew it was an earthquake, and said so just the millisecond before the trembling began. We all scattered to find a door jamb as quickly as we could, and about 20 seconds of 5.7 Richter Scale shaking later, we sat back down on the sofas to start processing together what had just happened. One thing we talked about was how grateful we were that, even though we had just experienced a natural disaster, we didn’t end up needing our 72 hour kits. We have had the practice of keeping 72 hour kits stocked and ready for an emergency -- and I can say how grateful I am that we’ve never had to use them. But having them packed and ready was instrumental in helping us feel a measure of calm in the midst of the quake. Would you like to feel one step ahead of the unpredictable? With all of the craziness on the news, from earthquakes, hurricanes, and wildfires to locust infestations, knowing we can't control what happens can be an unsettling acknowledgement. But choosing to prepare for the just-in-case can help us handle whatever comes without feeling totally out of control. To build our 72 hour kits on a budget, I bought second-hand backpacks and small suitcases with wheels, making sure the zippers work. Once the food and other necessities are packed in there, it’s pretty heavy, so having the option to drag it rather than carry it is ideal since we can't predict how far we might need to walk. Some people might simplify the whole shebang by buying MREs. I've never eaten an MRE, but I've heard horror stories… so I decided on a different system. I acknowledge the reality that food is not just for nourishment, but also for comfort, and considering that the situation in which using a 72-hour-kit would likely be a time we need comfort, I pack ours with food that serves both purposes. My system may not be the most efficient but there’s a hidden function within that lack of efficiency. Because the food is only packaged to last around six months, it requires us to unpack and re-pack every six months (or so) which gives us a prime opportunity to review all the contents of the kits (not just the food) and have low-pressure discussions as to why each item is included and how it is used. The kids kinda like it when we pull out all these packaged foods to rotate because they get to eat items we don’t often include in our day-to-day diets but that they view as desirable. And hey, in an emergency, comfort in the form of food is a double whammy. Since our 72-hour-kit menu might be useful to fellow mamas who see a need to be a little bit “preppy” (that word used to have a whole different connotation back in the 80s), the list is on the two-minute-mom-tip blog, so log on and take a peek as you consider an emergency plan for your family! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering! 72 Hour Kit MENU: divided up according to the component of our E element in the RAISE acronym -- “Three Parts to Every Meal: Protein, Grain, and Fruits/Veggies. 72 hours is 9 meals, so each child packs 27 items total, chosen from these options: PROTEINS: tuna/chicken salad -- in little cans, boxed with crackers, from the dollar store trail mix Small packets of peanut butter beef sticks vienna sausages Pudding Protein bars and shakes FRUITS: apple sauce Raisins Juice boxes Fruit leather Fruit snacks Cans of corn, peas, carrots… (and a can opener if they’re not pop-top!) GRAINS: Crackers, with cheese or peanut butter inside Cheez-its granola bars sandwich cookies Pop-tarts (which have a little fruit on the inside) OTHER: Bottled water (we fit two to three in each backpack) bags of hard candy (to suck on to trick the mind about thirst)  Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you paint rocks for fun! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. Are you familiar with Chris Van Allsburg, the author of children’s books? He’s probably most famous for The Polar Express since a movie was made from it -- and the truth holds: the book is better!! But the one I’d like to highlight today is called The Wretched Stone. It’s written as a ship captain’s log and it details the discovery of a large shining stone which captivates his sailors and turns them into monkeys! I believe Chris Van Allsburg was making some social commentary with this story! Our screens are like this wretched stone, stealing the childhood from our children in various ways: they don’t get as much fresh air, have fewer opportunities to build their work ethic or people skills, and regardless of the content being viewed, just the amount of time is linked to anxiety, depression, and can exacerbate autism, so there’s an unidentified force coming through the screen as well. In the past, "Screen Time" as our family calls it -- was a privilege the child had to earn. However, I struggled with this system because I felt like I was rewarding them with something that has little-to-no value, but by calling it a reward, I was inadvertently sending the message that it is valuable. So now our family is trying out a different system. We have assigned the hour before dinner to be the only time they are allowed to use the various wretched stones. Oh, they still have to have their homework done and be done with their chores, so, in that sense, we're teaching them prioritization. However, we no longer consider Screen Time a privilege -- we call it Techno-Mush-Brain Hour, a carefully chosen name that includes a warning to our children, hopefully discouraging overuse. So far, I think it's working pretty well. It helps them hurry to finish their homework and chores so they don’t drag those out all evening. It also means that the rest of the evening after dinner, they just find something else to do -- and it's a beautiful thing to see how they get creative with their free time -- like writing and performing plays, singing karaoke, doing yoga, drawing, and playing games with their siblings. Moms, how can you teach your family the disadvantages of screen time as you make an effort to decrease it? Share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you wipe fingerprints off the mirror! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. One day, my 12 year old son came to me, telling me he was tired of getting reprimanded. Now, he's a good kid with a great sense of humor. He has excellent work ethic and is very thorough *when* he does his chores. This particular day, he hadn't yet done his chores even after several reminders... and as he voiced his concern, I had to agree that I had indeed been getting on him quite a bit for his annoying actions towards his siblings. I never intended to be the kind of mother who points out everything my child is doing wrong. I also regretted focusing on his faults, since I buy into the concept that what you focus on increases! I took a deep breath and hugged him and suggested we have a chat, assuring him that I knew one of his talents is his willingness to talk things over! We discussed what kinds of actions were getting him into trouble. As our conversation continued, it became clear that he had been so busy bugging his brothers and sisters that he ran out of time to do his chores. I decided to take what we were learning and phrase it more positively: When you're busy doing the things you're supposed to be doing, you won't have time to get in trouble! I can think of all sorts of ways this applies to life! Not just the life of a sweet 12 year old who is feeling worn down, but to all of us who struggle with guilt. Sometimes I’m so aware of my imperfections and basically reprimand myself all day -- that it sucks away my energy to accomplish the good stuff. So I'm going to start taking my own advice and flip that dynamic to my benefit. I'm going to be so busy with the good stuff that the bad stuff will naturally get cut out of my time-limited day. I won't have time to scowl, yell, and complain, because I’ll be too busy being grateful, giving compliments and encouragement, and smiling instead. Mom, try replacing the things that get you in trouble with good things that you’re supposed to be doing! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  The author and her voluminous eyebrows. Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you pluck your eyebrows. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. I once attended the funeral of a mother of many children even though I didn’t know her personally, but because I knew a few of her children and wanted to show my support to them. I listened intently as her daughter praised her mother's disciplinary methods, which must have been effective considering how those of her adult children that I knew were kind, loving, solid people. The most memorable quip that I still remember several years later was: "She Raised Us with her Eyebrow" I happen to have plentiful eyebrows. I have to pluck them so they don't grow into one big eyebrow. I’ll include a photo of myself if you promise not to covet my natural beauty.
In spite of my God-given eyebrows, I do not feel like they give me any sort of edge when it comes to raising my children... in fact, I have to watch myself and make sure these eyebrows of mine are not constantly scowling. Aha! Maybe that's a clue! Maybe making sure *my* eyebrows are raised -- raised in delight, or in a welcome-home smile, or gratitude… or perhaps just silly quizzical goofiness! The more I think about it, the more I realize how important the raising of my eyebrows can be in contrast to raising my voice. Raising an eyebrow to show concern, like "Do you really want to continue making that mistake?" Raising an eyebrow of warning, "Try to think ahead about where your current actions may lead..." I’ve decided that even though I never met that mother, I want to be like her. It seems that being at her funeral ultimately allowed me to be uplifted -- or shall we say raised?! -- by her eyebrows, too! Mom, what signals are your facial expressions sending to your children? Try raising your eyebrows or the corners of your mouth more often! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Patrice Audet on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you dance up a storm! Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience. Remember that catchy tune "Eye of the Tiger" from the Rocky III movie? I confess, I haven't actually seen Rocky III… but I have been developing the Eye of the Mommy… let me explain! For many years, I was unable to see messes. I was so absorbed in the present task (making more of a mess) that I didn't pay much attention to existing messes. This kind of blindness is a blessing to some extent because the messy environments of mothering eight kids don’t phase me. But being comfortable in my own mess doesn’t make my family and friends feel comfortable, so in that sense it has been more of a curse… So I have been trying to improve my “mess-vision” and now I have “The Eye of the Mommy!” Hoping to give my children a head-start in life and not have to be embarrassed into cleanliness, I have been figuring out how to instill in my offspring the desire --and ability-- to be tidy. I’ve taught my kids that after they've completed a job, they need to have it inspected. That's the order it is supposed to go in: finish first, then get inspected. Sometimes, though, they ask for an inspection and when I go to do it, it’s clear the job has NOT been completed very thoroughly. So, now when they report that they’re ready for inspection, I respond: "Did you use the Eye of the Mommy?" They'll often go back and work again for a few minutes... and that's okay! They're learning how to *see* messes on their own! I personally know that improving that eyesight is a gradual process... Sometimes, it seems there’s an eyepatch on my own “Eye of the Mommy” and our home is not as tidy as it could be. And that's okay. Really! An important purpose can be served in allowing the kids to suffer from the opposite of cleanliness! They'll be more able to appreciate when our home is clean -- and more interested in doing the cleaning! Moms, try encouraging your children to use the Eye of the Mommy next time and see if they can upgrade their chore performance on their own! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you scrub grime off the countertop. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Stealthy Eating... if you were a kid, wouldn't this sound intriguing?! Well, that's my goal... intrigue my kids into better behavior. I've tried nagging. Doesn't work. So any guesses on what Stealthy Eating might be?! This concept was inspired by The Mary Poppins Mentality -- "Snap! The Job's a Game!" -- as well as the fact that some of my kiddos are old enough to help themselves in the kitchen. When their tummies have the teensiest bit of space open up, they ask themselves, "Why wait for Mom? I can reach the graham crackers and milk by myself!" Fellow mothers, have you ever cleaned up graham cracker crumbs soaked in milk that got spilled on the counter and then dried? If anyone wants to develop an adhesive to compete against Elmer’s Glue, start here! And so, I approached my children with this message: Children, (with the Mission Impossible theme song playing in the background), your mission, and you need to accept it so Mom won't self-destruct, is to CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR SNACK! If you can reach the graham crackers and milk, you can also reach the sink and the washcloth! Stealthy Eating is: “Eating so that Mom can't tell you were ever in the kitchen!” Yes, you CAN do it! Just like the Stealth Bombers that fly in the sky unnoticed! Moms, try teaching your children Stealthy Eating skills… then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Viktor Nikolaienko on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you fill up the dog's food and water. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I took a child psychology class in college. My professor was strongly opinionated, biased towards his own published research which claimed that the only effective form of discipline is a system of rewards and punishments, that our children are basically like Pavlov’s dogs. Well, now that I'm a mom, I hereby declare this professor's viewpoints as over-simplified and incomplete. Instead, I feel that the concepts of Positive Discipline are much more thorough in covering a broader scope of our children’s emotions. That's not to say I never use rewards or punishments. I use them a lot -- specifically the rewards! And that’s where the two theories coincide, which is a good clue as to the validity of that concept. Over the years of integrating “rewards” into real-life motherhood, I’ve come to realize that high-fives are about all the reward a child really ever needs. Oh, and otter-pops for going pee all by themselves. Tee hee! Really, though, rather than invest in cavity-causing candy, or in a supply of little toys that later become stifling clutter, I just offer that awesome kid with the good behavior a high-five. And he's happy, and I'm happy! And I'm not ashamed to mention another compelling fact: slippin' skin is free. Palm patting is universally accepted as very valuable -- even though it costs nothing. And because it’s free, I can give it freely. As Positive Discipline teaches us: the more, the better. Other similar rewards include a cheer! a hug! a thumbs-up! a pat on the back! the "A-OK" sign! capturing the moment on the camera! offering to call Daddy or Grandma to report the success! The KIND of positive interaction isn’t nearly as important as how OFTEN it’s offered. The genuine joy my child sees on my face as we celebrate their victory is infectious -- one of the few infections we want to spread. Moms, try increasing these simple rewards in the lives of your children, then share if this practice elevates your mothering! 
Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you climb a tree.
Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
They say that it takes 21 days to build a good habit. I have a few decades’ worth of goal-setting experience that proves that to be about right... My experience also says that it takes less than one day to fall out of that hard-earned habit... Just like climbing a tree: On the way up, I must carefully choose which limb to grasp, then use my muscles to pull myself. It can be a time-consuming, arduous process -- but falling down from the tree can happen pretty much instantaneously with no effort at all on my part. AAAACCCKKKK!!!! Thank you, gravity. And so the metaphor continues: there’s gravity in that more ethereal sense of our efforts to progress and improve in life. Forces that pull us down or times when we lose sight of the goal and loosen our grips, losing our footholds and then falling. But let’s not allow gravity to win. Defeat must be seen as temporary. There’s a great song called Tubthumping that helps me stand back up and start climbing that tree again. Here’s a fun rendition sung by an acapella group that got voted off an entertainment competition show called The Sing Off. Let’s train our brains so that when we fall, we respond by giving ourselves pep-talks (or pep songs, as the case may be!)! Can you feel these pats on the back, Mom?! No purpose is served in wallowing in the mud or being mad at ourselves. Momivate is a play on the word motivate, and we must do it for ourselves as well as for our children. How many times we fall down isn’t important as long as we stand back up Mom, decide just one area where you’ve fallen, and make the effort to stand back up and dust yourself off today. You’ve got this! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you wipe fingerprints off the TV. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I get it! I get it, fellow mamas -- I TOTALLY understand why TV is placed on a pedestal in our society. For one thing,
Well, the nonprofit Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood has researched why it’s crucial to curb our children’s screen use. They sponsor Screen Free Week, providing tons of resources to help us succeed in this practically impossible endeavor. Additionally, they help us as parents teach tech-responsibility to our children because the reality is that being screen-free is a luxury not many of us can afford, oddly enough. So we need to be putting the necessary effort into teaching screen self-control starting as soon as the baby pretends her banana is a phone. It absolutely definitely one hundred percent totally completely and drastically affects the atmosphere in our home when our “master-and-slave” relationship with screens has “we, the people” as the masters, not the slaves. Mom, try going screen free for a day or two each week, then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Jarek Ceborski on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you clean out the junk drawer. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I have limited energy, Mamas, so I have to choose wisely what to spend it on. I choose to NOT waste energy on complaining about chores, 'cuz they gotta get done so we might as well use our energy to work rather than whine. Chores aren't a punishment! They aren't slave labor devised to build character, as my children believe! They are simply what needs to be done as a result of something else being done first. And so I present to you… The Parable of the Open Drawers In our family, we like to eat. It's a silly little thing, I know, but something about growling tummies, and boom, we're in the brand-spankin'-clean kitchen lookin' for somethin' to put down the ol' cake-hole. I don't know if this happens in your house, but alluvasudden, the kitchen ain't so clean anymore. So the conversation goes something like this: MOM: Hey, kiddos, now that we’ve eaten, let's clean up! KIDDOS (in unison): But Mah-ahm, we didn't do anything wrong. We just had a snack. Don't punish us! Seeing the need for a demonstration, I open all the drawers in the kitchen, leaving them out. Then I try to dance through the kitchen, dramatically banging into the open drawers... MOM: Children, chores are like closing a drawer. You close it because you opened it, and because a closed drawer clears the way for more fun. In an area with open drawers, ya can't have as much fun. Taking the time to close drawers ...or do chores... gives you space to be free. I see the lights go on in my oldest child's eyes. Whew! Once I have him helping me, together we can convince the others of the cleverness of this perspective! Moms, try Dancing among Open Drawers this week, illustrating the necessity and blessing of chores to your kiddos! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Jess Bailey on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you take a little walk around the block. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
For some reason, I always, *always* -- as in, I STILL -- struggle with seeing past the current moment. Now, in some ways, this is a strength -- I don't tend to stress too much about the future 'cuz I'm too busy taking care of the present. However, this backfires sometimes because some of the present worries and concerns could have been avoided, or at least been of lower intensity, had I looked ahead and planned a little... Being aware of a fault is the first step on the journey to improve! I've been taking a few more steps, too. I run a household planning meeting every Sunday night and it has worked wonders in giving myself a heads up about what kinds of phone calls I need to make, times I might need help with childcare, when I can squeeze in a date with my main man, bills that need to be paid, food items to grab from the store, etc. etc. etc. I just use a pocket-size calendar that sells at the dollar store during back-to-school season for -- you guessed it -- one dollar! Heck, I think I've hit a jackpot of a deal considering the value I get out of that dollar in terms of how much planning ahead has made my life better. As I try to teach my children these methods of looking into the future, I encourage them to recognize that their whole lives lie before them, and to give some thought as to how they might want to use their time, developing talents and skills that will pay off in the long run. We’re inspired by this quote: “Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.” Things are so much more likely to happen if they're scheduled in. It's basically an investment: we spend a little time on forethought and we gain more time as well as a satisfying sense of accomplishment! Moms, try scheduling a planning session every week for you, looking ahead at what you need and want to do with your time. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Photo Credit: Lidya Nada on Unsplash.com Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you put dishes into the dishwasher. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
Have you ever been in a situation where complaining or whining might be justified, but for some reason you chose to take a deep breath and stay calm. It’s not easy, but it’s rewards are immediate! The challenge to accept responsibility for one's own reaction is one of those self-discipline muscles that we need to build -- and life gives us plenty of opportunities. When we can't control anything else about our circumstances, we can at least keep control of ourselves, our emotions, our attitude. Charles Swindoll, founder of the radio program Insights for Living, got it right when he said: "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important ... than education, than money, ... than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. ... It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. ... We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes." I want to empower my children by teaching them this concept, and I work (it is definitely WORK) to set an example of it, and together we’re discovering all the ways we can improve our personal reality simply by smiling, or letting things go, or looking for solutions, what we CAN do, rather than dwelling on the CAN'Ts. We aren’t perfect, -- and yet we try to maintain a good attitude about our imperfections! Mama, examine your attitude and how you might upgrade it in just one way today, and see what a difference it makes. Then share if this practice elevates your mothering!  Here's an audio clip so you can listen to the Mom Tip while you fold yet another load of laundry. Hi, I’m Regan Barnes from Momivate, and this is your two-minute Mom Tip empowering you to elevate your mothering experience.
I’m a little jealous of my children -- the fact that they get to spend the majority of their time learning. I wish LEARNING was on my to-do list -- I genuinely enjoy discovering facts and building skills. Oddly, children seem to have a built-in aversion to didactic learning. Oh, they'll learn all day long if you don't TELL them that they're learning. If they're the ones asking the questions, their brainy appetite is insatiable. But once it's an assignment, once someone else wants them to go learn such-and-so, for whatever reason, that makes it an oppressive chore. The fact is, though, that learning is an element of childhood in the way oxygen is an element of water. I think their struggle comes from their innate desire to be in control of what they're learning. The tricky part is that learning HOW to learn is a subject in and of itself -- arguably far more valuable, than memorizing lists of facts. Of course, our gray matter is programmed to learn from day one -- no one has to teach a baby to learn how to walk. The baby is just wired to eventually get up off its knees, practice balancing, and one day, almost without thinking, those first steps are taken. When you aren't a baby any longer, though, that automated learning mode gets complicated with too many (or too few) options, countless distractions, and that awful human-nature state of laziness... And so the motivational games begin... to encourage learning, embellish it, give incentives for it, exemplify it, all with the hope that they'll embrace learning and love it for life! Mom, in what ways can you give your children a love of learning? Do you verbalize how grateful you are for a good education? Do you take advantage of opportunities to learn even when you aren’t required to? Create a family culture that includes efforts to satiate curiosity! Then share if this practice elevates your mothering! |
