Wisdom from Experienced Mothers

By Sam Allred, CouncilMom over Music, Inspiration, and Laughter

Photo Credit: Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash.com

I have a problem with the typical narrative of motherhood. The one that tells us that everything will come so easily and effortlessly. The reality of parenthood is that it is difficult. It is often easy to doubt our abilities when it comes to making parenting decisions. We need to remember that we are not alone in these feelings of inadequacy. Hearing from other like-minded mothers who have had similar experiences can alleviate those feelings of inadequacy and provide a renewed sense of hope in the face of difficult circumstances.

Below is a list of advice from experienced mothers to mothers who may be struggling with certain aspects of motherhood. 

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• “The baby doesn’t need a perfect mom, but he/she definitely needs a happy mom. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

As a perfectionist, I tend to be my own worst critic. As mothers, we need to remember that our kids don’t care if we don’t prepare magazine-worthy dinners or organize pinterest-worthy crafts. They care about spending genuine time with us and forming a strong, healthy relationship. 

• “You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take time for self care, prayer, and exercise.” 

Whether you are currently struggling with your newborn waking in the night, teenage attitude, or somewhere in between, all mothers can agree that motherhood requires a lot of patience. It is hard to exercise patience, when your own needs aren’t being met. Remember to take care of yourself so you can take care of your family. 

• “Time spent with your kids will never be undone. Dishes, laundry, dusting, vacuuming will all be undone. It’s okay to wait on the chores to prioritize time with your child that you can never undo.” 

One evening, I put the baby down for the night and started cleaning the kitchen. My husband went outside to work on the yard and later came and told me to come out to see the sunset. I told him I would come out when I was done with dishes, but by the time I went outside, the sun had already set. This experience helped me remember that chores can wait. People and experiences are more important and it is important to prioritize those who are important to you so you don’t miss out on making memories, forming bonds, and building relationships. 

• “Don’t compare yourself or your children to anybody else.” 

My grandma loved the well-known phrase from Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” The older I get, the more I find this statement to be true. Sometimes other moms may seem to be perfectly put together, while you feel like a slob in desperate need of a shower. Sometimes others’ kids reach milestones earlier than your kids. Sometimes other families appear to always get along with each other and never fight while you feel like a full-time referee. Guess what? All families have struggles. Don’t let comparing yourself to others steal your joy. 

• “There is no better mom in the world for your children than YOU.” 

Your sweet kids aren’t looking for a mom with the perfect home, flawless post-baby body, or perfect craft activities. Your kids want YOU!  You are enough. You are incredible. You are just what your kids need.

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