The natural but unnatural instinct to sacrifice

By Esperanza DeLaLuz

Here is a funny story: Back before you could buy fast food with a credit card, I found myself with three hungry kids and too many hours before we could go home. So, I made a quick stop at McDonalds and, with the couple of dollars cash I had, I got a burger and a large fries to split among the kids, knowing I could make it the next few hours without this snack. As I divided the burger into 3 parts and doled a third of the fries to each child, a man walked by our table and made some assumptions. He promptly went and bought four burgers and gave them to us. 
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I assured him that we had plenty of money, just not in cash, and it would only be a few hours before we could eat at home. He would not be deterred, though, so thanks to his kindness we had a full lunch.  To this day, I think he really believes that I was lying to save face.

Because it is so common for mothers to make sacrifices for their children, that man assumed that I was one of those wonderful mothers who goes without food so that her kids can eat. Well, I have never been in a situation where there wasn’t enough food, except very temporarily, but I hope that if I were, I would be able to do as so many mothers in the past have done: survive on minimal rations in order that their children would have enough food. 

Every mother makes sacrifices for her children, and many are not visible sacrifices: sleep, peace of mind, time alone, cooking dinner with one child on the hip and another dragging at her clothing, convincing sick children to take their medicine, cleaning wounds, combing tangles, and more and more.  

We do these things for two reasons: because we love them enough to sacrifice our own comfort for them; and because we know that sometimes we must do things for our children that are hard, because we love them more than we desire them to be happy with us.
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Someone once said a similar thing about God: He’s more interested in our growth than in our comfort. And He’s willing to take the “blame” when we aren’t happy with the circumstances that are intended to result in our growth. As moms, we model this divine structure with our children in two ways: accepting God’s will for us even if it’s harder than we want it to be, and interacting with our children in ways that, in the long run, are for the best but, in the short-term, aren’t “fun.” And that is a sacrifice of its own kind.

​The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.

 -- Jessica Lange

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