By Stephanie Simmons, Momivate's Inspiration Specialist ![]() Taking care of the home can be pretty mundane. I really do like a clean home. I also go in a continuous cycle of being on top of my game to ignoring the mess and hoping everyone else does too. There are many valid reasons and excuses to not keep our houses clean. And there are definitely different seasons in life that might affect the attention our home gets(some examples: rough pregnancy, emotional state not being taken care of, illness, etc). For those seasons that are not the exception, how do we stay motivated through the mundane? First, we need to recognize that we are doing better than we think! Let's give ourselves credit for the things we are doing! We are often too hard on ourselves. Secondly, your home is not a museum, it is a home. This was told to me by my husband many years ago when my 3rd child was starting to get around. It seemed that as I was cleaning, she would go around and undo the work I was doing, and I seemed to care more about a clean house than spending time with my kids. I was getting frustrated and perhaps a little overwhelmed. Probably after a rant of frustration or something, he told me, “It’s ok to have some mess in the house. We don’t live in a museum; this is a home.” That has really stuck with me and helped me many times as I lose focus and start caring more about a clean home than the people in the home. Third, my thoughts influence my attitude! I can remember a time when I was reflecting on how annoying and mundane it was to have to keep doing the same housework day after day, and week after week. It was hard to find the motivation to want to do my chores. At some point in my ruminations, I thought, maybe if I change the way I view what I am doing, it won’t be so bad. I thought to view the housework as service to my family. I like to serve others. In fact, cleaning another’s home was always more enjoyable than cleaning my own. I also like to remind myself that I love how the end results make me feel when I have a clean home. And one last thing I try to focus on is that it is actually a little therapeutic getting lost in my thoughts, or listening to an audio book or talk, while I clean. Even talking on the phone to a family member or friend really helps the mundane chore get done in an enjoyable way. Fourth, recruit your family to contribute! As my kids have gotten older and have been able to contribute more, and I have had to train them and motivate them, they get a little lecture about “family contributions.” This wording comes from a parenting book by the Eyre family. It helps us see that everyone in the family contributes. We have our dad who contributes by going into work and brings in money for our home. We take care of the home to earn our part and our income, or payment, is in the form of clothes, food, home, etc. My lecture would include pointing out the things they do and need that require work to make happen (you eat, so you need clean dishes and food, and there is a mess from using them, cost to buying the food, etc). When it comes to caring for our homes (formerly called doing chores), remember, you are doing a great job! Your home is for living in, focus on the positive, and enlist your children in the family contributions. Our home can be a clean home to help us live happily in! Here's a few Quick Tips to help you kick start your cleaning:
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By Diana Duke, Momivate's Secretary As I walk in the house from picking up the kids from school, I notice piles of folded laundry just waiting for the kids to knock over. The sink is full of dirty dishes from breakfast with cereal boxes and orange juice still sitting on the island. Five bags of groceries are sitting on the counter just waiting to be put away. There are backpacks and shoes strewn throughout the living room. My thoughts pull me to a commercial with a woman in a business suit singing “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget that I’m a woman”. I don’t even remember what the commercial was pushing. I just remember thinking I want to be that woman who can do it all: work, provide, and do it looking amazing. But as I stare at the sight in front of me, I begin to minimize the things that I have accomplished today and begin to over-catastrophize all the things that have not been accomplished. This is a common thinking error referred to as Minimizing/catastrophizing and it is something that I need to correct. One thing I can do to overcome the thinking error Minimizing/catastrophizing is to realize when I am in the middle of this thinking error, I need to stop and redirect my thinking with positive self talk. When I start to practice positive self-talk incredible things begin to happen. When I see the pile of laundry sitting on the couch waiting to be tipped over, I redirect my thoughts to recognize that I am nearly finished with this load of laundry. If I ask the kids to take their pile of clothes and put them away, we will be finished with this load of laundry! I will then have time to put another load in the washer. While the latest load of laundry is in the spin cycle, I can make tuna sandwiches for dinner. Sure it won’t be a roast with rosemary and garlic potatoes, but the kids will be fed... and if I add a few strawberries and carrots from the groceries still sitting on the counter waiting to be put away, I can count two servings of the five required fruits and vegetables for the kids today. Positive self-talk can make the half-finished work of today seem like the work for tomorrow is nearly finished. Throughout my days, I often struggle with minimizing my accomplishments and over-catastrophizing the long list of things I could do better. The list gets longer as I dwell on the things I still need to do. But as I practice Positive Self-Talk I can overcome this thinking error. Positive self-talk creates a positive mindset for me and sets a tone for the people in my life to be positive about their accomplishments too. Embracing Positive Self-Talk creates a much healthier thought pattern for my life as well. As I become more positive through self-talk, I can become more successful. And success breeds more success. I can eventually have a healthier and more positive way of thinking. So tomorrow when I wake up, my work will be half finished, and I will be able to accomplish even more! This submission is by Jennifer Wright, a MomUnity member who earned an OkkaTots diaper bag by answering this prompt: When you decided to take on the job of raising a child (or more than one), your heart knew that you would be the giver of the love long before you'd be the receiver. And the love you give is the VERB kind of love -- every repetitive, mundane act, every phrase you hear yourself say a zillion times... Why? Ask yourself, and answer yourself. It's a valuable practice to become conscientious and provide those reasons to get you through the hard times and be able to appreciate the good times all the more. Here is Jennifer's beautiful and thoughtful answer. If you'd like to submit an answer and earn a diaper bag too, here's the form. ![]() Motherhood is made up of moments. Good moments, bad moments, successful moments, learning moments, rewarding moments, and more. Why do I spend my time being a mother? Well, honestly, there are hard moments when I ask myself that question and I can’t see that I’m making a difference. But those moments inevitably pass, and are usually followed by learning moments. The most applicable answer is: I love my children! Ultimately, I want them to be happy and I am the one most able to help that happen in the short term and the long run. My children need me. I give them my time and attention so their lives will be better. I am the one that best understands them and can infer their needs. My children are young and they can’t communicate well yet, either because they can’t talk yet or are still learning the meaning of words and how to tell me something. No one else is as equipped as I am to understand and help them because I know their bigger picture, the moments that make up their world and reality. It’s rewarding to see the progress they make as a result of choices I have made in adjusting their surroundings or schedule to best fit their current needs. I know those needs intimately because I have been there every moment and step of the way. I am positioned to best help them progress and succeed. My children reflect me. Children are little sponges who repeat the most random things! I learn about myself in how they handle emotions and react to situations. I know they learned many of those things from me. Sometimes those moments are painful to see, but I am a better person for seeing myself reflected by them. The rewards are in the moments too. Milestone moments of learning to smile or walk and random silly happy moments filled with laughter, and moments of progress when something ‘clicks’ that we’ve been working on. I love my children the most of anyone on this earth, and no one else is going to care what happens to them more than I do. I want to be the one they ask for help, even if it’s 100 times a day. I want to be the one advocating for them. I want to be the one who feeds them, sees their smiles, kisses their ‘hurts’ and tucks them in. At the end of the day, I can best celebrate their victories with them because I know the moments that make up their days and months and years. Their best chance of success is through me, and I love them, so I give them my moments. By Sam Allred, CouncilMom over Music, Inspiration, and Laughter ![]() Self-affirmations are positive statements that can be used to encourage and motivate yourself. When you repeat them often, and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes. Here are 5 affirmations that you can use to transform your thoughts about motherhood and inspire you to be a better mom.
If you feel like you need a mindset change, give affirmations a try. The key to affirmations is to use them frequently. Work them into a part of your morning routine, such as brushing your teeth or getting dressed. Write them down and post them on your mirror. Upload them to your phone wallpaper so you see them every time you open your phone. Some people say them outloud, some repeat them in their mind during meditation, others write them in a journal. Do whatever works for you. Your thoughts and words have the power to change your mindset and help you achieve your goals. By Sam Allred, CouncilMom over Music, Inspiration, and Laughter ![]() Being a parent at any stage comes with challenges and we never know when somebody could be in need of encouraging words. Here is a list of supportive comments to help parents feel validated and uplifted.
May we make a conscious effort to support each other. If you see a fellow mom struggling (we all have been there before and know what it looks like), consider using one of the phrases from this list. It’s amazing how only a few simple words can improve somebody’s day. By Sam Allred, CouncilMom over Music, Inspiration, and Laughter ![]() I have a problem with the typical narrative of motherhood. The one that tells us that everything will come so easily and effortlessly. The reality of parenthood is that it is difficult. It is often easy to doubt our abilities when it comes to making parenting decisions. We need to remember that we are not alone in these feelings of inadequacy. Hearing from other like-minded mothers who have had similar experiences can alleviate those feelings of inadequacy and provide a renewed sense of hope in the face of difficult circumstances. Below is a list of advice from experienced mothers to mothers who may be struggling with certain aspects of motherhood.
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AuthorSMomivate's CouncilMom over Music, Inspiration, and Laughter provides much of what you will enjoy on this blog, either creating it herself or acquiring it from other sources. Guest authors are welcome to submit pieces as well by emailing momunity@momivate.org Categories
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