Starting to resent? Repent!

This is MUCH easier SAID than DONE, but the fact is that resentment is a HUGE sex inhibitor. If I start to notice the tiniest seeds of resentment in my soul, I have a whole rigamarole of how to root those out because they are like weeds that can choke my marriage.

Here are some steps that I take, first with MYSELF (usually using pen and paper) and then with my husband -- although sometimes, this step becomes unnecessary if my first few steps help me see things more accurately.

• NAME the problem as specifically as possible. Be honest with myself if my perspective is accurate.
• Try on the moccasins for a mile... as in, see if I can build up some compassion for the situation.
• Couch the complaint between compliments. This keeps things more positive.
• Offer forgiveness freely and express gratitude for willingness to discuss the problem. 
• Be open to getting the help of a third party if we can't solve it between us.

I hate confrontation, but I also know that some things MUST be addressed or else they fester and start to smell bad (metaphorically speaking). These steps help me feel empowered with empathy, not feel like I'm picking a fight but instead discussing a problem and requesting help and expressing confidence that a solution is possible.