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Hints About Husbands

This section of our website is dedicated to helping you have a happy relationship with the man you share your life with, ultimately helping you both have a happier life together. These hints are often on the subject of sex, and sometimes they're about other things. We treat each subject with tact while being straightforward, using vocabulary that you might use with discretion around children. Not that you'll be reading these hints to your children! That's just our way of issuing a parental advisory! But please do read these hints with your husband. And then talk amongst yourselves about how to apply them to your marriage.

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Starting to resent? Repent!

2/2/2022

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This is MUCH easier SAID than DONE, but the fact is that resentment is a HUGE sex inhibitor. If I start to notice the tiniest seeds of resentment in my soul, I have a whole rigamarole of how to root those out because they are like weeds that can choke my marriage.

Here are some steps that I take, first with MYSELF (usually using pen and paper) and then with my husband -- although sometimes, this step becomes unnecessary if my first few steps help me see things more accurately.
  • NAME the problem as specifically as possible. Be honest with myself if my perspective is accurate.
  • Try on the moccasins for a mile... as in, see if I can build up some compassion for the situation.
  • Couch the complaint between compliments. This keeps things more positive.
  • Offer forgiveness freely and express gratitude for willingness to discuss the problem. 
  • Be open to getting the help of a third party if we can't solve it between us.

I hate confrontation, but I also know that some things MUST be addressed or else they fester and start to smell bad (metaphorically speaking). These steps help me feel empowered with empathy, not feel like I'm picking a fight but instead discussing a problem and requesting help and expressing confidence that a solution is possible.
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