No Escape Hatch?

My first husband and I got married with the verbal vow to stay married forever, for better or worse. As the years went by, I was feeling like the "worse" part was where we were stuck. I brought it up with my husband, and he just replied, "Sorry. You said forever. There's no escape hatch."

Unfortunately, this phrase became his most common response to any request I made, whether a little thing like a chore or a big thing like how angry he was with the kids (especially as they developed teenage attitudes). My husband's phrase "no escape hatch" was his attempt to pull divorce off the table, and my brain responded by deciding suicide was the only way out.

Luckily I was able to talk this all through with my therapist and I never tried to commit suicide, but I did decide to leave the marriage. I felt like Princess Leia when she's fighting off stormtroopers and gets the idea to jump into the garbage chute. She knew the garbage chute wasn't going to be fun, but it would save her life. Yes, divorce hasn't solved every problem, and dealing with the garbage brought by the divorce has been its own ordeal, but my mental health and my self-worth have been preserved and literally my life has been too.

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