It's a Gift

I feel like my husband and I have matured in terms of our perspectives on sex in our marriage. When we first got married, we both had an attitude of "sex is fun!" and "sex makes me feel good!" But over time, we have both had experiences where we learned that sex isn't supposed to be about me and my own desires. Instead, it's about each other and being sensitive to the desires of the other person. Now we are much more united in trying to make sure the other person feels good. It's not about lust anymore and wanting the climax for my sake as an individual. It's a gift I'm giving to my spouse who I love and feel love from. It's an incredible exchange of sincere care. I am no longer spending my energy worrying about my needs -- I have entrusted them to him! He has time & energy to meet my needs because he's no longer worried about his own because that's what I'm spending my time and energy on! It takes conscious effort, sometimes just expressing a need outright, but trusting that he'll do his best to take care of it (and the other way around). BONUS: this marital development is reflected in all areas of our relationship.