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Hints About Husbands

This section of our website is dedicated to helping you have a happy relationship with the man you share your life with, ultimately helping you both have a happier life together. These hints are often on the subject of sex, and sometimes they're about other things. We treat each subject with tact while being straightforward, using vocabulary that you might use with discretion around children. Not that you'll be reading these hints to your children! That's just our way of issuing a parental advisory! But please do read these hints with your husband. And then talk amongst yourselves about how to apply them to your marriage.

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Baggage

2/11/2022

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My husband and I each brought a lot of sexual baggage into our marriage. He had been sexually active since his teens and indulged in a porn habit. I had been molested as a child, date raped as a teen, and had two abusive marriages before this attempt. We decided we had to come into this with our eyes wide open, and the first step would be to be completely honest with each other. We had been introduced to the idea of religion through a neighbor who shared their conviction that it could help us succeed in our marriage. We found a church to attend and the clergy there helped us find a therapist we could trust to help us navigate our minefield of history. One thing we learned was "zero expectations" -- not base our current relationship on previous ones, either good or bad. Also, communication takes WORK. It's not just taking turns to talk. Listening is a conscientious skill. Especially listening with compassion and no judgment or assumptions. Little things like eye contact, holding hands, taking time before responding... these help us treat each other with respect -- an attitude we both needed help developing. It's worth it!
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