Is Motherhood actually a full-time job?
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For the last few generations, mothers have been sold the vision that their careers are the "entrée" on the plate of life, and anything else is just a side dish. One of Momivate's goals is to teach a more accurate perspective that reveals a more nourishing and appetizing meal plan for the feast of life! Motherhood is not meant to be among the "leftovers" -- when we break down the various aspects of mothering, we can see how it is, indeed, a well-rounded spread that includes metaphorical meaty morsels, bountiful bread, and delicious desserts -- as well as less-desirable but very necessary vegetables.
Based on the Momivate Acronym that answers "What Do Moms Do, Anyway?" here is the "menu" of how full-time moms spend the majority of their time as they R.A.I.S.E. U.P. society: |
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R - Relationships -- between maintaining their marriages (4-6 hours per week) and disciplining their children (12-14 hours per week), moms invest a lot of time in this core role of getting along with others and teaching their offspring how to get along with others as well. Plus they are daughters, sisters, friends, co-workers, and clients -- all relationships that require time.
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A - Atmosphere -- creating the place their families call home is a time-consuming endeavor. Conscientiously determining what their families will see, smell, hear, taste, touch, and feel inside their homes involves forethought then deliberate action so that their homes will be collections of satisfying sensations. This element of motherhood easily takes up another 4-6 hours per week of a mother's time. (Running total: 20-26 hours -- already a part-time job, and we're not even 1/3rd of the way through the duties...)
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I - Income & Outgo -- even for a mother who doesn't earn an income but relies on her husband's career to bring home the bacon, this element requires at least 4-6 hours per week as she takes time to scour the ads, shop the sales, and review the budget to carefully keep the funds balanced. If a mother is also putting in employment hours to pull in funds, that can range from 12 - 60 hours per week! (Running total now could be anywhere from 24-86)
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S - Schedules & Systems -- running the household's itinerary is a matter of planning as well as carrying out the various endeavors, and mothers easily spend 2-4 hours per day creating, tweaking, and implementing systems to manage chores, screens, friends, and homework. Then there's another 2-4 hours per day adding events to the schedule and ensuring timely arrivals at various destinations, chauffeuring free of charge! (Running total: 28-94 hours)
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E - Energy (Exercise, Eating, and Sleep) -- these physically-oriented facets of energy actually have immense impact on mental health, a major concern for our young ones. Moms not only need time to address these needs for themselves, but they must run the routines that help their children develop the habits that strengthen their bodies and minds! Such a daily duty surely requires another 4-6 hours each day -- not counting the nights! (Now the running total is 32-100 hours per week -- which only has 168 hours, so we start to wonder when will mommy sleep??)
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U - Unique Circumstances -- every mother's story is unique, and we must allow her time to write each chapter, especially as she discovers the details involved in the challenges she and her loved ones might face: single motherhood? step motherhood? a child with autism? infertility? fostering? adoption? multiples? Depending on the needs, this could be a full-time job in an of itself. Let's add a minimal 10 hours per week, putting the lower-end of the running total of hours over the 40 that so often cap the hours required in a full-time career... 42-110 hours per week... is there any time for Mom to just be herself??
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P - Personal Pursuits -- motherhood is an enrichment to an already existing complex person, but sometimes it is so overwhelming that the woman feels like her identity is lost in this all-encompassing role (that is too often glibly sold as a side hustle). When motherhood is so demanding, how can a mom remain rooted in her personhood? Only when she takes time (7-10 hours per week minimum!) to deliberately reconnect with her pre-mom self, rejuvenating those passions in the context of her life-altering maternal status, can she confidently reclaim her territory, new inhabitants included. Once she's conscientiously included personal time to pursue goals, she's at a minimum of 49 hours, potentially upwards of 120 hours per week.
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Many women (and many husbands who are justly observant) would look at these estimations and contend that they're too lenient. For those who have never considered the varied aspects of what it takes to RAISE UP society, hopefully this has been an eye-opening exercise. The demands on a mother's time and talents are collectively outrageous when we expect her to do it all, do it alone, and act as if each task were just a snack to nibble on rather than the full-fledged feast in the banquet of life.
Momivate wants to raise awareness of what motherhood entails, and how, if given the time and empowerment to fulfill each of these aspects, moms would be better off as individuals, their children would be better off as the rising generation, and hence all of society would be better off in the long run!
Momivate wants to raise awareness of what motherhood entails, and how, if given the time and empowerment to fulfill each of these aspects, moms would be better off as individuals, their children would be better off as the rising generation, and hence all of society would be better off in the long run!
