What does self-reliance mean to you?

Written by Leigha Westover, Co-Founder of Momivate and Director of Income & Outgo

What does Self Reliance mean to you?
Please take a moment to ponder the meaning of Self Reliance.

Webster's dictionary states that self reliance is reliance on one's own efforts and abilities.

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If we are to take this into account then I am not very self reliant -- I need the aid of others to provide my clothes, food, and shelter.  In our society we have prospered by using our personal efforts and abilities to share and provide for others’ needs, as they also do for us.  In exchange for the services rendered, we use the value of currency  

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As a child I learned to work and contribute in our home while my father went to work to provide for our needs. As I progressed in years, my desire to become more independent increased. I secured a job in a delicatessen as a part time server, so I was able to provide for some of the increased desires of a teenager, such as entertainment.  

Approaching my young adult years I continued to thrive, and advanced to being able to purchase a car and move into an apartment with other young adults.   My understanding of finance was just to meet the basics and get by.   As I was learning and growing socially, spiritually, and mentally, I did not increase my understanding of providing beyond what I needed.

I continued to live by the basic principles of earning just enough to get by for the first 25 years of marriage.  We struggled, trying to get ahead financially and we never got there. We always had barely enough for us and sometimes not even that. My underdeveloped outlook on budgeting limited my family. Occasionally I would stretch out my faith  to believe there would be enough when the kids wanted to invite a friend to eat with us. And there alway was even when I lacked faith and said no.  
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As you seek to understand what self reliance means for you in your life, you may discover that you have more learning to do. Identify principles -- statements of truth -- you can try to apply to your daily life.

Photo Credit: Irene Kredenets

Some principles to consider

Pay the Lord first (tithing and/or donations), then pay yourself (savings), then SPEND WISELY.

• This principal has always been on the top of my list.  For doing this I know that all my wants and desires were met.  

Build up the self-discipline necessary to live according to your budget. 

• I would write out a budget.  But it was limited to our needs not our desires and goals.

Be willing to sacrifice for the sake of stability.

• I felt like I was always sacrificing and there was no room for improvement. I learned to grow my willingness to do more if possible and then do it one step at a time.

Less really can be more. Simplify! Embrace the concept of ENOUGH. 

• Again I felt we had less; what else could I do? I did rearrange where the funds would go, having specific accounts for the necessities that come up.  Dental, Medical, car repairs.  Things that are not every month but do come up.  

Get out of debt and save to purchase what you want.   

• When you are tied to payments that use up your paycheck before you receive it, it binds you down.  You may not feel free to be generous and bless others. When reviewing your budget get rid of things you don’t need. Sell off what you can and get rid of the debt to free yourself from the bondange.

Money is not a god worthy of our worship. Trust in financial good karma!

• My understanding at the time was: “I am blessed to have what I have! Why would I want more when others have less than I do?” This is where I learned I needed to change my attitude. If I want to help others, I have to first be in a position to do so. My budget changed to create more and so I am able to do more.  

It may not always be money you will be blessed with. It may be as simple as creating a revolving closet in your home or extra food in your garden, etc. As you are blessed with plenty, bless others with it as well.  We do not need to hold on when others' burdens can be lighter. 

Work together to make things work: Value ALL the work necessary to make a family successful, whether or not it brings in financial income. 

• As a family, counsel together and help each other understand and know their needs and desires. Work together to set goals to help each other feel like they are a part of the solution to pay for a family vacation, a new car or repairs, soccer club, braces, or medical expenses.

 
In the Bible, we read “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). I believe that if our desire is to do good continually to comfort, strengthen and clothe our neighbor (love them!), we must budget wisely, and then when we are blessed with excess, we can pass it on to others.