Resilience During Change

By Momivate's "Energy" CouncilMom, Ericka Moore

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I can be changed by what happens to me.
But I refuse to be reduced by it.

Maya Angelou

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To say that we have experienced change these past few years is an understatement. Covid has impacted every marker of stability we have relied upon. Some of us have handled this change better than others and have become sources of inspiration to those who need it. Families have struggled to continue normalcy and children sensed this interruption. As mothers, we are sensitive to the needs of our children and this global impact brought out the need to protect and screen our children from its harsh realities. At times, shielding our children is necessary, but sometimes, during moments of change, it is good to teach.

Change is certain to occur and the way we respond can be the difference between learning a tough but difficult lesson or sowing seeds of anger and bitterness. I believe it is the key to navigating and overcoming any mountain. Oxford Dictionary defines resilience as “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. Toughness.” It takes fortitude to continue a journey when met with obstacles. In order for a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must struggle against the cocoon shell, then push its fluids down its wings so that the wings are strengthened to fly. That is the perfect picture of growth through resilience! 
Listed below are five principles to improve resilience during moments of change. I am not a life coach, but I offer these principles as possible suggestions:

 1) Understand you cannot control everything.
Control means safety and the lack of it can mean chaos. However, it is impossible to dictate and manage every detail of every situation in your life and the lives of those you love. It is okay to let go and prioritize the situations that need management. All situations do not need your influence.

2) Recognize that yours is not the only path.
Your knowledge and experiences impact the path you take in decision making. However, it may not be the correct path for another. Your way is not the only way. Do not be afraid to see another point of view.

3) Seek wisdom. (Accept that you may not know the answers.)
We like to think we know it all but we do not. There is no harm in seeking wise counsel. Speaking to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor is smart. It may save you time, money, and heartache.

4) Remember, this is only temporary.
Change is awkward and does not always happen on a schedule. It does not stay awkward forever. Eventually, change becomes routine, and routines bond families and help children feel safe.

5) Take care of your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical body.
It is vital to address mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical arenas in your life. Getting plenty of sleep, eating well, addressing stress, and nurturing your relationship with God is important. You are no good to anyone else if you are not being good to yourself. Remember to facilitate this for your children, also.
Growth and maturity are what keep us from becoming stagnant, and every experience teaches us more about the world and ourselves. Though some changes are forced on us, we can become stronger through them and see them as a chrysalis, enabling us to find new wings.

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