By Phyllis Moyes
Recently, a Christian friend of mine sent me a TikTok. As I watched it, the truth of its message encircled my heart. It began by asking a simple question: "Do you know how most whales die?" Hmmm, I thought, sharks? Fishermen? Disease? Nope. Nope. Nope. They drown. The TikTokker @russelldafourth is a Christian minister, and he said, "they spend their entire life living in and swimming in a world that eventually kills them...Whales live in a world they are not of; they are in the water, but not of the water. So while other fish can swim around for their entire life, with gills breathing in the water, the whale has to come up out of the water to live. There is a life source that is not in the world that he lives in that he needs access to."
You see, whales are mammals; just like us, they need air to survive.
I am a Christian, and I believe this message applies to all of us. Regardless of religious preference (or lack of one), we need a higher power (God, Yahweh, Jesus, Brahman, The Universe, Allah, etc.), and we must prioritize our spiritual health and mindfulness. For me, it is reading scripture, praying, and meditation. For a friend of mine, it is meditation and yoga. How you choose this connection to God/Higher Power is up to you, and your way may look different from my examples. It doesn't matter; the critical thing is that you do it. Keep reading, and I will tell you why.
I remembered another fact I had read about whales many years ago. It came from a book titled, The Book Of Nurturing: Nine Natural Laws For Enriching Your Family Life, written by Linda and Richard Eyre. In the book, they give parables for raising children; number three is the Law of the Whales. This law pertains to how whales speak within their families, creating phenomenal teamwork. The Eyre’s wrote, "The gentlest, most tender, and touching humpback song seems to be the one a mother sings to guide and encourage their baby calves. Humpback babies are born far below the surface, and the first challenge of the new mother is to lift and nudge her new child (with her nose) to the surface, where it can draw its first breath of air. Those who have witnessed this nurturing act say they will never forget the mother's song that goes with it, a song of love and confidence."
Isn't that a beautiful illustration of love and nurturing? I can envision myself feeling a little panicky shortly after giving birth, doing all I can to ensure my babe makes it to the top of the water so they don't drown in the world they are not of. I am singing my best song, you know, the one that is full of confidence, assurance, and love. And then we both crest the water - my baby breathes, and I breathe.
But here is the rub: Sometimes, I feel my proverbial lungs will burst because it has been too long since my last spiritual/mindful breath; can you relate? It is not because I don't know where to find it, how to do it, or because it isn't lifesaving. Instead, I have over-committed myself with cares of the wrong world, worrying, stress, wasting time, judging and feeling judged. These characteristics are fish traits, not whales. The bad news is numerous “fishes” are vying for my and my child's attention, but they only supply water, which will never save but instead dooms these lungs to death. We need AIR to live -- Quoting @russelldafourth, "YOU are IN this WORLD, but YOU are NOT OF this WORLD."
Mothers, we are irreplaceable examples to our children. Teach your babies what source they can depend on for the Breath of Life; they are watching you.
By Momivate's Atmosphere CouncilMom, Annette T. Durfee
Snuggled up in my arms, my little grandson stares up at me with his big beautiful innocent eyes. Together we rock back and forth in the overstuffed chair singing song after song and I’m convinced that I love him more every second! As I sing, my mind wanders back to yesteryear when my babies were tiny and I sang song after song to them – hoping to relax them and hush their sleepytime fears. Hoping to instill in them the things I knew were true. Hoping to fill their hearts with the love that I had for them.
It’s amazing how magical music can be! Music has a way of touching our hearts and filling our memories with the best things of life.
Music was at the heart of the home I grew up in, so naturally, as an adult, I shared it with my children. We sang lilting lullabies and fun children’s sing-along recordings. We also offered xylophones, harmonicas, recorders, and rhythm instruments for the little ones to explore creating their own sounds.
As a classical musician, I knew the benefits of classical music: an increased learning capacity, creativity, and self-esteem, to name only a few. Knowing that our children weren’t going to grow up on a farm (like my parents did), we still wanted to teach them hard work, patience, and discipline. We decided to instill these values through formal music lessons! Thus, we became the beneficiaries of practice sessions, morning-noon-and-night! We eagerly attended recitals and concerts galore! Music sweetly and simply lent a soothing atmosphere to our home and even our car, as we traveled to and fro.
Music became a parenting friend that would quiet the mayhem of the moment. When life became a little hairy and scary and the decibel level was a little too high, I would nonchalantly pop in a CD of classical music or church hymns (my secret weapons!) and - voila! - an essence of calm and peace would descend! Soon, things would settle down.
With a house full of rambunctious kiddos, we found that with a little creativity, there seemed to be a song for every situation that could gently persuade, teach, or motivate. Songs to make diaper changes more pleasant, songs to make hair washing less scary, songs to help children cooperate when it was time to brush their teeth. Sometimes songs distracted us from the mundane and helped to pass the time while we did the dishes or other chores. At bedtime, songs even helped us march up to bed in a happy way! We became a train connecting arms at the shoulders and chugging up the stairs singing, “Choo choo choo, what’s coming down the track?” The person in the lead would “pull the whistle” and up we went.
Music was an unseen friend that added joy and spontaneity to our lives at just the right time! Sometimes the music was a toe – tapping “Turkey in the Straw” for a Thanksgiving program! Or the girls would make up choreography to a whimsical children’s song, their fancy dresses swirling in a wide circle. Sometimes a child surprised us with an unsolicited solo of a kindergarten-melody as they stood atop a make-shift stage (aka a chair in the dining room). And impromptu Family Talent Shows gave us rousing marches, emphasized by mini flags in the front room!
With littles on the loose, life is more pleasant with a song in your heart. In your home or on the go, music has the power to create a sort of a haven that smooths the creases of chaos and lifts the spirit. So, whether your family chooses to learn an instrument or two, sing at top volume in the shower, or pop in a favorite CD, music is the power to make any moment a happy one!
By Sam Allred, Momivate's Music, Inspiration, and Laughter CouncilMom
Anyone who has spent an entire day with kids knows that it can be overwhelming and difficult. Many days are full of laughter, playing, and joy. But some days are full of tears and tantrums - all day long.
On those bad days, it is easy to start down a spiral of stress and frustration and those emotions have a huge impact on our kids. That’s why it is important to know how to change your bad days into good days.
Here are a few tips you can try the next time you’re having a rough day at home with the kids:
1. Get Outside!
If you're cranky, then the kids are probably cranky too. Dishes and laundry can wait for an hour while you take the kids on a walk or to the park. Let your kids run, soak up some sun, and explore. Being outside is a fantastic mood lifter.
2. Set the Timer for Ten Minutes
If you are feeling overwhelmed with a to-do list a mile long, tell the kids you are setting the timer for ten minutes, invite them to help, and do everything you can before the timer goes off. Do the dishes, tidy up, switch the laundry over, take out the trash, sweep the kitchen, or whatever else is an immediate need. You will be surprised at how much you are able to accomplish in a short amount of time. When the timer goes off, stop your chores and focus on your kids. In a few hours, set the timer again. After a few ten minute sessions, hopefully you will have most of your chores done.
3. Talk to Someone
Adult relationships in motherhood are so important. Talking to a friend about life can be a great stress reliever. We all require connection to thrive and it can be hard to feel connected when you only talk to tiny humans all day. Make sure you can talk to somebody about your struggles, your hobbies, your current favorite TV show, or whatever else you want! Consider joining a facebook group or a support group for mothers in your area.
4. Listen to some Mood-Boosting Music
Music has been proven time and time again to distract us from fatigue and exhaustion, elevate our mood, lessen anxiety, and even improve our health. Play a favorite album, find some fun action songs to get the kids moving, or have an impromptu dance party in the kitchen.
5. Give Yourself Grace
Remember that you are a good mom. Having a bad day as a mom does not define you. You are allowed to feel stressed and overwhelmed. Everybody has bad days occasionally. Let your kids see you practice the important skill of turning a bad day into a good day. If you find yourself having bad days more frequently, make sure you make yourself a priority by taking a break and practicing self care. You cannot pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first.
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