Momivate!
  • Home
  • About Us
  • BLOG
  • DONATE
  • Services
  • S.M.I.L.E. Awards 2023

A Good Catch!

11/5/2022

0 Comments

 
By Annette T. Durfee, Momivate's Cultivate Leader
Picture
If you look for the good, you surely will find it.

​
Is that really true?  And does it apply to life with our families? 

​I believe it is and it does.  But sometimes it is hard to see the good in people.  Looking for the good requires that we assume the best in our children and create an atmosphere where they can learn from their choices with as many chances as they need.
But we all know that looking for the good is so much easier to say than to actually put into practice because it is easy to see what our children are doing wrong.  And negative behavior begs for our attention. 
So, we have to be conscious of our responses, because, honestly, who wants to be yelled at all day?  Not me!  It certainly is not motivating and it destroys that feeling of love that we are all trying to achieve, faster than a speeding bullet! 

​So, what can we do instead to with our families that will put this truth into good use?

​A better idea is to “catch” them doing right!  Here are four ways to help us do that.  I’m sure you could find more!  I would suggest doing one or two at a time so as not to be overwhelmed as well as to add a spark of enthusiasm which generally accompanies something new:


Words of Praise

Let’s say that you’d like a peaceful atmosphere in your home and it seems at times like it is anything but that.  Try looking for those rare times when they are getting along.  We might say something like, “I’m hearing such kind words from the back seat.  Thank you!”  Or, “Look how well you are getting along! I’m proud of you!”  “I like how you’re sharing your toys!” The tricky part is remembering to notice those positive moments.  One way to accomplish this is by making a picture in your home hang slightly crooked.  Each time you walk by and see it, it becomes a quiet reminder that now would be a very good time to catch your children doing something good!
​

Jar of pom-poms

Choose an area of focus where you’d like to see improvement.  It’s even better if you choose it as a family so you have their input and buy-in.  We worked as a family at one point to encourage the phrase, “I would love to” when someone, usually a parent, was asking for help with something or reminding them to do a certain chore.  What a difference this phrase made as it began to shape our attitudes towards serving each other with love rather than having to be coaxed or begged with a put-out attitude.  When the person said the phrase, “I would love to,” they went over to the jar and put in a pom-pom.  And when the jar was full (and our hearts were fuller) we all celebrated by going out for ice cream!  You might want to do the same thing and change it up a bit depending on your family’s needs.
​

​The Family Book of Honor

In my children’s elementary school, they occasionally had assemblies where a few students were chosen to sign the school Book of Honor.  We adopted this idea for our family by nominating people at dinnertime to sign the Durfee Book of Honor, and with it, to write down the great deed they did.  Although we only did this for a short time, I must admit that it was fun to have a record of so many good deeds.  And it created a feeling of warmth in our home, of looking for the good in others, cheering on the achievements of others, and of striving to do well.
​

Family Rewards

While this idea could work well for any number of improvements, I think it is particularly good in raising children to be strong, good, and valiant.   The idea is to choose the values that you’d like to emphasize in your family.  Make a few certificates and concentrate on one area each week.  Maybe you’ll want to announce the winner of the week at a family dinner and post in a place of prominence – perhaps on their bedroom door or bathroom mirror – someplace where they will see it often and be reminded about just how good they are.  I can’t remember where I got this idea from.  Maybe it was from one of you?  And maybe I made up some of them.  At any rate, here are the ones I ended up settling on.  You might find others that suit your family’s values:
​

 * Self Starter Award:  For someone who took the initiative, saw what needed doing and did it without being asked,  or went the extra mile without being asked.


 * Neat as a Pin Award:  For someone who kept their room clean, straightened up, put things in order, etc.


 * Leader for the Right Award:  For someone who stood up for what they believed, resisted “following the crowd,” tried to influence someone for good, etc.


 * Ice Breaker Award:  For someone who made a new friend, started an interesting conversation, asked a question, gave a thoughtful compliment to someone, etc.


 * What Would Jesus Do? Award:  For someone who remembered to ask this question during the week, and, as a result, consciously made a good choice or decision.
​


* Peacemaker Award:  For someone who helped our home to be a place of peace and love. “Blessed are the peacemakers – for they shall be called the children of God.”

Let’s admit it.  We all like to be noticed and praised for the good we do.  So instead of letting our families flounder by fishing for compliments, let’s strategize and guide our families as we charter new waters together.  As we make a conscious effort to look for the good, we can tackle family problems and with a little love as bait and hook, validate their efforts and reel in a good catch!
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    AuthorS

    Our Team of CouncilMoms take turns submitting blog posts in each area of the RAISE UP acronym. Guest authors are encouraged to submit their blog posts as well (CONTACT US for more info! Thank you!)

    Join our Momunity!

    Provide your email address or texting number and we'll alert you to new posts!

    Categories

    All
    Adoption
    Ambiance
    April Fools
    Atmosphere
    Autism
    Bad Mom Day
    Bad-Mom-Day
    Birth Parents
    Bonding
    Breastmilk
    Budget
    Butterflies
    Calm
    Cancer
    Carbs
    Challenges
    Change
    Children
    Chores
    Cleaning
    Cleanliness
    Clutter
    Connection
    Conscious Effort
    Consequences
    Consistency
    Contribute
    Control
    Deaf
    Debt
    Depression
    Diabetes
    Discipline
    Discovery Family Adventures
    Drugs
    Eating
    Education
    Encouragement
    Energy
    Example
    Exercise
    Family
    Family Strengthening Month
    Feel
    Finances
    Food
    Fortitude
    Fostering
    Fun!
    Games
    Give
    Goals
    God
    Grace
    Green Ribbon Week
    Grief
    Group Effort
    Growth
    Habits
    Happiness
    Health
    Hearing
    Help
    Holidays
    Homemaking
    Home Management
    Homework
    Hugs
    Husband
    IEP
    Illness
    Imperfection
    Income & Outgo
    Individual Personality
    Infertility
    Influence
    Keto
    Kitchen
    Laundry
    LGBTQ+
    Listening
    Long Term Perspective
    Long-term Perspective
    Love
    Lullabies
    Mealtime
    Meaningful Moments
    Meditation
    Meeting Needs
    Menopause
    Military
    Mindfulness
    MomUnity
    Money
    Mothering
    Motivation
    Music
    My Discovery Destination
    Newborns
    Nurture
    Nutrition
    Optimism
    Organizing
    Other Mothers
    Outside
    Parenting
    Patience
    Peace
    Perimenopause
    Perspective
    Plan
    Pledge
    Positivity
    Potential
    Praise
    Pregnancy
    Prepare
    Preparedness
    Prevent Child Abuse
    Prioritize
    Procrastination
    Promoting Family Values
    Protein
    Reading
    Realistic Expectations
    Reality
    Reasonable Expectations
    Recipe
    Relationships
    Relationship With God
    Resilience
    Rest
    Reward
    Routines
    Sacrifice
    Safety
    Savings
    Schedules
    Screens
    Screen Time
    Security
    See
    Self Care
    Self Discipline
    Self-discipline
    Sense Of Self
    Service
    Sight
    Simplify
    Single Motherhood
    Sleep
    Smell
    Social Media
    Spirituality
    Stepmother
    Sugar
    Summer
    Survival Mode
    Systems
    Taste
    Taxes
    Technology
    Teens
    Temporary
    Thanksgiving
    Thyroid
    Tie
    Time
    Timer
    Touch
    Traditions
    Unique
    Unique Circumstances
    Unplug
    Wisdom
    Words
    Work
    Yelling

Momivate is a BRAND NEW, official 501(c)3 Non-profit organization! Your donations of time or money are greatly appreciated!
Click HERE to donate funds!
Click HERE to donate time!
Thank you!

COMPANIES: Become a MISSION SUPPORTER

ABOUT US 

CONTACT US

​
RESOURCES

​
GLOSSARY


SUBMIT A CONCERN
NOTE: We are only legally able to offer our services in the United States. If you live outside of the U.S. and would like to start a branch in your own country, please contact us.

Click here to read our Website Terms of Use

Please see our Disclaimer.

Please see our Commitment to Privacy here.
Picture

All content on this website is intellectual property of Momivate. All rights reserved.
Photo used under Creative Commons from quinn.anya
  • Home
  • About Us
  • BLOG
  • DONATE
  • Services
  • S.M.I.L.E. Awards 2023